Reky
Alphahandler 
rekyct[M:-999]
SO PRO
Posts: 1,554
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Post by Reky on Jun 27, 2010 0:17:06 GMT -5
waiting for your chance to get away
planning your escape for days and days
you can feel the earth under your feet
you are like a dog who roams the street.
[/i] It was too much. Too much. It was all of these emotions coursing through his veins at once. It was the damned Rising copper dragon. It was these realizations of dark and impossible things. It was Eondith's unease in the back of his head. It was everything hitting him all at once, in this torrent of yearning and inner turmoil. It was the beckoning of the little glass vials in his weyr. It had been almost half a Turn now, he figured, perhaps more, since that night when Kio had shoved his nose where it didn't belong. It had been almost half a Turn of dealing with the brat of a boy, and having business benefit from it, and hoping for improvement that never came, and feeling Eondith's intense disgust towards him. R'fus didn't know what to do, really. He didn't know what he was feeling right now. Whatever it was, it had been there for a while now, buried, and it was shaking off the dirt now. He wanted to shove it back underground. He wanted to forget about it. He wanted it to go back to being impossible, like it was supposed to be. But no. It was still there. It was... something about Kio. He couldn't label it properly. It wasn't family. It wasn't love. It wasn't friendship. It wasn't anything good, exactly, but it wasn't hatred either. That had diminished. It was something more... primal. Far too human for him to want to accept. Or... something. It was just something, and he didn't like it. Perhaps it was just the copper's Flight talking. That had to be it. Queens' Flights were always terrible. Everyone felt the effects, and generally it resulted in a lot of newborn babies nine months later. R'fus was usually good at riding them out without... incidents. This time was bad, though. Really bad. Callistath's hadn't even hit him this hard, and she was a gold - the original Queen of Pern. Or perhaps, the severity of the Flight's effects were being magnified by who it was he was thinking of. Faranth... he was thinking of an asshole. A kid! A sharding kid! Kio! How had this come about? He had no idea. He did, however, know how to stop it. Eondith was just on edge as he was. Tensed, the dragon's whirling eyes watched his rider in the dark as the man ran for his private room, dragging out the bottom drawer of his chest. There was the cling of glass as tiny bottles rolled around, filled with that clear, bitter liquid. He could taste it already. At first, it had been awful, but after years... It wasn't the taste of disgust. It was the taste of escape. His vision flickered as his fingers fumbled around. Usually, hallucinations were only for the hard addicts going through withdrawal. He wanted it so bad right now, though. No... he needed it. There wasn't a choice. He downed it. An entire bottle in one swift go. That... that would be enough for now. More later, if that didn't work. While he was still his same self, nervous and scared and with a throbbing headache, he shoved the drawer shut and shuffled to the end of his cot. He leaned against the footboard, waiting. Just waiting. The numbness would start in his eyes and fingertips, as always. He'd feel the sting of eyes open too long disappear, and a tingle in his fingers. Then it would spread. He just had to wait... even your own mother let you go
your sisters and your brothers gave up hope
friends you didn't have cause you were cruel
and because you've never been to school [/i][/size][/blockquote] |
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Nia
Sr. Weyrwoman
niact[M:-790]
Posts: 991
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Post by Nia on Jun 29, 2010 13:58:49 GMT -5
It was fun, he had to admit. Working in this business. He loved control over people, and what better to give Kio control than to control the drugs they needed to live? He loved playing with people... with their minds, their hearts, their everything. It was fun for him, and this job was all he needed to have complete control. Of course he'd never be anyone important in the Weyr... not with his little Blue wher that tagged along whereever he went. He'd gotten a lot bigger since then. And despite his noble ways, he still looked very intimidating. It was sort of like having a bodyguard. Most people didn't mess with whers. And though Kiosk would never attack anyone... it was fun to make others think he would.
He hummed obnoxiously as he walked along, heading towards R'fus' weyr. He'd found quite a few more people down in the Lower Caverns in need of fellis! Wasn't he such a good worker? He'd gotten them so much business! And yet, he was still pretty sure that R'fus hated him. Ah, but wasn't that the fun of it? Hate and love ran such close lines, and Kio loved exploiting that to the best of his abilities. It wasn't just R'fus, either, though he decided he probably felt the most feelings for the dealer. Hah, not like Kio could even feel such human emotions. He was above them, so he didn't feel for them.
R'fus was just fun to mess with.
There wasn't anything more to it.
... Kio was fairly sure he didn't love him, because that wasn't a word he could use in his vocabulary.
He loved messing with people. But he didn't love them personally. But he had been feeling an odd, stronger tug towards the Bluerider lately. Perhaps it was just the Copper's flight that made him feel this way? Well, currently at least. He'd never felt that affected by flights, though. It was probably just his "I'm better than everyone else" mentality that kept away those emotions. He didn't feel for people. And, most of the time, they didn't feel for him. Unless he felt like making someone fall in love with him for fun. Or just to gain some sort of follower.
But it was different with R'fus. He wasn't a follower, and Kio was fairly sure that he hated him, so what was this? The challenge? He doubted it.
Ah, but there he was. Right at R'fus' room... and in time enough to see him down the bottle of fellis. An odd feeling coiled in his gut... what was that? Worry? No way. If he was worried, it was just because he was worried about R'fus wasting their precious supplies on himself. He pushed the door open completely and frowned at the other... then he gave an exaggerated sigh and a wan smile. "Wasting our supplies...? I thought you didn't want to get hooked on this stuff," he tsked, setting down the list of new potential subjects that he'd been carrying on to R'fus' desk. "Look at all these people!" He gave a sort of manic grin... that faded as quickly as it appeared.
He sighed again, though this time it sounded a lot more genuine. "There are other ways of dealing with your problems," he said, his tone serious... and maybe even slightly annoyed. [/size] |
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Reky
Alphahandler
rekyct[M:-999]
SO PRO
Posts: 1,554
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Post by Reky on Jun 29, 2010 14:53:12 GMT -5
There it was.
There he was, more specifically. R'fus, with his eyes painless now, calmly watched Kio as he entered and set something down on the desk. Whatever it was didn't register. It wasn't R'fus' concern right now. In fact, the goal was to have nothing be his concern, but it wasn't working. Where his pulse should have been slowing, it had picked up again. His plan wasn't exactly working. Kio wasn't supposed to have shown up. Having the root of your problems barge in on your escape never worked out the way it was supposed to. He felt his blood throbbing in his numbing limbs.
"I won't," R'fus said. His voice sounded calm and sleepy, but inside he was dealing with this torrent of too many things at once. "I never get hooked." Which was only slightly true. He was hooked on fellis. He always had been. Psychologically, it was everything to him. It was his business. Physically, his body craved it on and off. Compared to the desperate addicts, though, he was barely hooked. He had the willpower of steel - he wouldn't give in that easily. Though, it was becoming more and more enticing lately. Probably something to do with a certain bluehandler he happened to work with.
"If I was hooked," he said, talking slow, licking his tingling lips. "I'd... act normal with it. Instead I... well, ah'm not... not exactly... I'm numb." Eventually, the body would become dependent on fellis. Without it, pain would be intolerable and you'd hallucinate until you killed yourself. It was Pern's version of opium, in a way. Then, his lagging gaze went back to Kio from where it had been fixed on the floor. Other ways of dealing with it? No. Not in this case.
Gently, he shook his head. "Naw. Nothin' else works. Not with... this. Not wi' this..." He swallowed. "This" being Kio. R'fus' heart was still pounding. Outside, Eondith was wary, but the mental connection to a drugged man had him drowsy, and Kalith's flight had him trying not to get distracted. He was a useless blue creature right now, and that was it. R'fus was almost equally as useless. He didn't want to move. He just wanted to sit there. He wanted Kio to leave and let him sit. He didn't want to have to deal with this emotional crap anymore. All it did was generate stress, and even with the fellis, Kalith's flightlust and that of her suitors was still getting to him. He squirmed.
Then, he got up, shaky on his feet. He reached down and fumbled for the bedfurs which were on the ground. He grabbed the edge perhaps too aggressively, and set the blankets down on the cot where they belonged. His back was to Kio, then, as he looked down at his fingertips. Two were scraped raw. On the rough-hewn stone ground, there was a touch of blood and skin. He grimaced. He hadn't felt it. He could just barely feel the floor beneath his feet. The fellis was slowly working... a bit. He swallowed hard and sat down on the cot.
Dark-ringed, sunken eyes looked up at Kio. They were red and damp, and the emotion held within them was something odd. It was fear, confusion, calculation, and helplessness. He didn't understand. Was he supposed to want this? This boy? Probably not. But he did, didn't he? That was what this was, right? He didn't want it to be. Maybe there was too much of Dranin in the boy. There was too much of the same dark hair and the same disregard for authority. Maybe. Or there was too much of a rising copper's influence in his mind.
Maybe.
He groaned and looked away.
how does it feel?
that you
can't make
them feel
your love,
your love. [/blockquote] |
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Nia
Sr. Weyrwoman
niact[M:-790]
Posts: 991
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Post by Nia on Jul 2, 2010 13:22:51 GMT -5
Kio eyed R'fus, his analytical mind immediately getting the situation. R'fus wanted to escape something, Kio wasn't entirely sure of what, but that was the basics of what was going on. How could he do something with that? But his want to manipulate R'fus had disappeared a while ago. He just wanted to happily coexist... or probably more. Hah... he got a slight flashback to the last time R'fus had used fellis. That'd been his own fault, huh? Not that it was his fault this time. Should he kiss R'fus again? He'd been so sorely rejected... even drugged, he'd been rejected.
So he didn't really like R'fus.
Definitely not.
He scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Never get hooked? Of course not." His tone was sarcastic. No one was immune to everything, not even someone with the amount of willpower R'fus had. Keep using it for an escape, he thought dryly. You'll get hooked soon enough. "There is such a thing as psychological addiction, you know," he mocked with an offhand comment, and not even Kio entirely realized that he essentially hit the nail on the head with that statement. But it was obvious, wasn't it? His life revolved around the stuff, no matter how much he did it.
This? Not with this? Kio narrowed his eyes, his arrogant and childlike facade dropped as he analyzed the other. It was... strange. The Copper's flight definitely had something to do with what was going on, he didn't doubt that for a second. But the way he moved... was strange. What was he trying to do? What was he trying to escape from? It bothered Kio that there was something he couldn't read. He prided himself in his people skills, in his ability to manipulate and play with the minds of others.
Kiosk looked like he wanted to go do something to comfort Eondith. He'd just been standing there, ever loyal, ever the hero, trying to fix the broken Mine he'd chosen. But he wanted to try and help the Blue... he looked so... so lifeless. And Kiosk felt bad. He knew that His had something to do with it. Even with his little mind... he knew. But they both looked so lifeless. The only one that looked like it had life was His, and even that was starting to die a little in his own mind. Kiosk didn't understand. He was far more grown than he was... but it was still a lot for such a wher to comprehend. So he just stood and waited for it to be over. They could save Eondith later.
Kio gave a low laugh. "Just look at me and say what you want to say already," he didn't know what R'fus wanted to say to him, but there was something. There was an odd tension in the room that Kio couldn't place. Or maybe he just didn't want to admit the reason it was there? But even if he couldn't place it, an idea that killed Kio on the inside, he knew it was there, and he wanted to either know what it was... or get rid of it. For some reason, it made him feel uncomfortable.
Kio hated not knowing things. He really, really did. [/size] |
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Reky
Alphahandler
rekyct[M:-999]
SO PRO
Posts: 1,554
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Post by Reky on Jul 2, 2010 14:12:19 GMT -5
There was truth to Kio's words. Perhaps he was addicted in his mind - he just didn't want to admit it. He knew what happened to the hard addicts. It just got worse and worse. Dranin even... died. He didn't want to be addicted. His entire goal had been to avoid it. He didn't want to do that to himself, or more importantly, to Eondith. No dragon signed up for this. No dragon deserved it. It wasn't fair. No, he didn't want to do that... But he was, wasn't he. It was happening.
Soft and slow, Eondith's voice touched him. What useless thoughts, Mine. I do not care. If you are lost to it, so am I. Together.
R'fus was refusing to reply to Kio, but he buried his face in his hands and spoke to his dragon. His gorgeous dragon... His Eondith. Oh, Faranth, Eon... What am I s'posed to do?
I do not know.
He was giving up. He was accepting that he needed fellis more than he'd ever hoped he would. He was accepting that all of this was happening, and that Kio was here, only feet from him. He still didn't want to put a label to what he was feeling, because that was too much. It wasn't hatred anymore, but it was something just about as ardent. Calling it lust felt too impersonal. Calling it love made him feel wrong. It was probably both of those, but he refused to admit that. It was too much. Everything was too much. But Kio spoke to him - he told him to say it. It.
Eondith knew what was coming. He was reluctant to resign to it, but he did, backed but his love for his rider. R'fus was always first, and Eondith supported whatever made him feel better. Who R'fus cared and didn't care about wasn't Eondith's concern when his well-being was in jeopardy. To add to it, the dragon's mind was so fuzzy that he didn't feel like thinking any harder about it. Instead, his slowly swirling eyes fixed on the little blue wher. He lifted a wing, creating a warm spot where the ugly creature could nestle up, and called to him gently. Come, Kiosk. Ours will be fine.
R'fus had stood, slowly. He swallowed, eyes down at his feet. For a moment, he simply stood there, wiggling his toes withing his soft boots. It was always weird... seeing the floor there but being unable to feel it. A long sigh was drawn from his tired lungs. He looked up, eyes dark as always, and then stepped forward. He didn't trust his words. He didn't trust his numb feet, either, but they got him forward. He barely trusted his own mind, which was getting fuzzy, but this was the only way he could deal with it right now. He didn't have the energy to get angry. So this was it.
Hesitantly, he placed his rough, calloused hands on either side of Kio's neck. There was a split second where R'fus awkwardly avoided eye contact, but then he kissed him. It was the opposite of the first day they'd met. This time, R'fus had moved first, and he obviously wasn't rejecting it. Whether or not Kio would was a mystery, but R'fus didn't care. His cracked lips and rough stubble were saying what his voice wouldn't have been able to. It was the best he could do.
i've had a little too much to think
i've had a little too much to think
and empty rooms tend to make
me believe in you
surrounded by everything i own
boxed and labeled, ready to go
not before time, not before time
i'm listening [/blockquote] |
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Nia
Sr. Weyrwoman
niact[M:-790]
Posts: 991
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Post by Nia on Jul 7, 2010 15:51:04 GMT -5
Escaping was for the weak, and Kio really disliked fellis for that reason. Of course he liked watching others get hooked on it, just because he enjoyed the feeling of control it gave him. Being the only one not hooked on fellis in a ring of dealers was very satisfying. Though, he didn't feel the same way he'd felt the first time he saw R'fus use the stuff. That had been an interesting experience... but now, for some reason, it annoyed him. Did he just not like to see R'fus hurt himself? No, he was just bored because he'd already seen this happen before. And it wasn't anything new.
He still didn't quite know what he was feeling. Why had he kissed R'fus the first time they'd met? He wasn't all that sure himself. For fun? For the reaction? He couldn't even remember. But he didn't feel like kissing him now. He just wanted to know what the other was escaping. Was it him? Kio was fairly certain he wasn't that annoying. Maybe some other reason? He didn't know, and it was starting to drive him crazy. People were usually so easy to figure out! But he couldn't put his head around why R'fus had decided to use fellis as his form of escaping.
Kiosk still felt old. His was thinking just strange thoughts... it was odd and abnormal. He shifted a bit uncomfortably, watching the two with curious eyes, and then watching Eondith. His strange, natural-born urge to help others made him want to help the other Blue... but he didn't know how. The open embrace of the dragon was inviting... and the words that Theirs were going to be okay was even more inviting. He approached the dragon carefully, and curled up next to the other, enjoying the closeness that Kio would probably never give him.
R'fus wasn't saying anything. They'd just been staring at each other for an uncomfortable amount of time. Kio didn't like it. He disliked it when people didn't talk to him and tell him what he wanted to know. But body language was just as easy to figure out... except when a person was drugged. He watched the other get to his feet uneasily, then walk forward. Kio didn't move. He wanted to see what R'fus was doing, and he didn't want to influence it.
The kiss caught him off guard.
Of all the things Kio expected, it was definitely not this. He really had figured R'fus wrong, hadn't he? It annoyed him that he couldn't figure out the other's actions... but the same time, he wanted to laugh insanely in something akin to triumph... and then he just wanted to kiss R'fus back. He did the later, but then pulled apart. Words were unnecessary, no matter what Kio wanted to say. "I wonder what this means...?" he teased, his eyes narrowed mischeviously. [/size] |
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Reky
Alphahandler
rekyct[M:-999]
SO PRO
Posts: 1,554
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Post by Reky on Jul 7, 2010 20:02:39 GMT -5
It was rare to see Eondith as an affectionate dragon. In fact, the only person he'd ever been like this to before was R'fus and that was a given. Momentous as this occasion was, it was kept soft and quiet. As Kiosk curled up next to him, he lowered his wing back down and provided a warm, dark covering for the young wher. He felt so tired, though... He was just as sluggish as his rider. Exhaling audibly, the dragon laid his head down. One eye stayed open for a few drawn out moments, peering at the tiny, gaunt blue creature nestled against him. Whether his hospitality was out of sympathy or a translation of his rider's feelings was to remain a mystery.
R'fus' motives were also a similar mystery, especially to himself. Well... no. That was a lie. Deep down, he knew why he was falling for Kio. He just didn't want to come to terms with it. Hell, he hadn't really wanted to admit anything, but he'd been driven to. He couldn't do anything else. He knew what Kio was like -- the wherling wouldn't have left until he figured out the problem. Even if R'fus had the energy to try and chase him out, he would have stuck around. He was impossible like that. Impossible, annoying, inconsiderate, cocky. Some unholy combination of hatred and admiration for these qualities, along with a stirring protectiveness and similarities to Dranin, had tangled and swollen in his chest, trying its best to mimic love. It was extremely uncomfortable, but he couldn't take it back now. He'd kissed Kio. It was out.
Silently, he stood there after Kio pulled back. The teasing comment rubbed R'fus the wrong way completely, but he expression didn't show it. He also didn't want it to stop. Somehow, he'd gotten used to Kio as the asshole he was. It wouldn't be the same if he was suddenly something else. Still, though, it pissed him off, just in a fellis-numbed sort of way. His dark eyes were down at the collar of Kio's shirt, rather than his face, when he snorted and gruffly breathed, "You know." Briefly, he mentally hissed that Kio had better not play dumb. He was a smart kid.
His hands moved down from Kio's neck to his shoulders, and he just stood there, head down. When he finally looked up, it was brief. He touched his forehead to Kio's and closed his eyes. The groan that followed seemed rather torn, and it was probably easy for Kio to figure out why. Eondith opened his eyes a slit to peer at the two before going back to his half-asleep state. The blue wasn't going to argue. He wasn't even going to say anything unless his rider either spoke first or really needed it. This was Eondith as he always was - a silent spectator.
R'fus didn't want to talk about it. The silence had only been a few moments, but it was ticking away. Someone was going to say something, and he didn't want that. He shifted and kissed Kio again, hands sliding back to the boy's neck. One threaded through his hair. The point was to make it last as long as possible to avoid having to explain himself. He really hoped he wouldn't have to, because it wouldn't come easy. Words would only solidify the feelings he was denying anyways, but he knew Kio. At least he could hope there wouldn't be questions.
He could barely feel Kio's jet hair with his fingers. They tingled more than they felt. The floating sensation caused by his numb feet was beginning to get to him, too. Anything beyond his arms and legs still seemed mostly fine, though, which was... abnormal. The dose had been small, but still... Was he getting too used to it? Shards. He could worry about that later, though. Right now he was worrying about Kio, and about his senseless feet. Gently, he tugged the boy closer to the bed where he could sit down. Feeling something more solid under him was good. [/blockquote] |
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