The Price of Arms-Length (Raven!)

[Rii]

The evening meal had come and gone. Sora had passed it up in favor of swiping a few meatrolls and getting out of the dining hall; she really didn't feel like making nice to any more people right now. It felt kind of stuffy in there when everyone showed up to eat anyway, she thought in excuse to her actions. A person got to like having a bit of space and freedom about them.

The candidate wolfed down the portable meal as she walked, heading towards the pens where they kept the herdbeasts for dragons to feed on. The air had a nice, cool feel to it but the sky was a sullen grey - they'd likely have a good spring rain soon, which she knew would please everyone whose work was to grow things and no one who had to stand out in it and get soaked. She didn't care. Maybe she'd even be outside in it herself. It was just water, and she'd lost track of the number of times she'd sprawled out on the ground or climbed up in a tree to just watch it fall, listening to the way it pattered and dripped amongst the leaves.

But. That was not now. Soon - possibly this evening, possibly tomorrow - but not now. Sora reached the fence that kept the herdbeasts from stampeding across the Weyr Bowl when a dragon swooped from the sky to feed, hooking her arms over the top rail and leaning against it. She hoped she'd get to see one taking an evening feeding. There was something in the deadly, primal act that was captivating, that little thrill of fear as a dragon dove upon their prey that never failed to make her feel something, despite the barriers she threw up against feeling and every denial that she made that nothing was felt.

She was well aware that this control, this stoic denial was winning her no friends at Dalibor. It was intentional. Dragons were one thing, cozying up to people was another. A full season, she'd escaped having anyone insist that she spend time with them outside of lessons and chores, keeping everything to strictly arms-length, work-only relationships. The fact that she hadn't been placed with a roommate - not yet, anyway - helped. It was fine, she told herself. She didn't trust anyone, and she didn't want to. Really. What do I care, I'm safer on my own. It had been her motto for Turns. Right up there with You don't know when people will hurt you.

Too bad it didn't keep her from feeling lonely. It just kept her from admitting it.

[RavenSong]

I hunger, Rhodth announced to Os'um as the Brownrider sat in their weyr. Os'um was maintaining his straps, taking impeccable care of the lengths of leather that stood between him and certain death when he rode upon his mighty poppa bear of a brown.

Have fun, Os'um said, oiling the leather to keep it supple.

With that, Rhodth leapt off his ledge and descended into the herdbeast pen, landing right on one beast which promptly found its way into his maw in short order. It was a messy affair, as was the devouring of one more herdbeast. He was big, but still preferred to eat his meals in a couple bites than try eating a herdbeast in one shot. It was then that he noticed Sora standing there, watching him eat. Rhodth paused, eyeing her, the blues and greens of his eyes picking up just a hint of suspicious yellow. What was a kidpet doing there? He looked back to the blood on the ground from his dinner and felt a bit guilty.

What's wrong? Os'um asked. Did you accidentally eat someone's pet?

No, Rhodth responded. There's a kidpet here. I think she saw me eat.

She's a Candidate, Rhodth. Eventually she'll be seeing her own dragon eat. Do I need to come down there and help? Os'um asked.

I'd prefer it. I don't want Mother Waroth annoyed with me. I'm bigger, but she's meaner. Rhodth spread his mighty wings and took off, ascending to a decent height before banking around, descending back to land beside the pen. The herdbeasts weren't pleased by the return of the Brown, who snaked his head down to sniff at Sora.

Hello, Kidpet, he said to the Candidate, Candidates being the only people besides his rider he'd ever speak to. He sat down, folding his wings down against his back, his focus intent on the youngling before him. Did I unnerve you? I'm sorry. He looked around, waiting for Os'um to arrive, wondering what to say in the meantime. Do not be frightened, he opted to say. If you wish to ask anything, I will answer until Os'umMine arrives.

[Rii]

Sora was aware exactly when her odd hope of seeing a dragon feed had been granted. The big brown swooped in from the sky to dive upon a herdbeast and she felt her heart give a ka-thump in her chest. She leaned a little more on the fence. Now those massive jaws came into play. Huge bites of herdbeast vanished down the brown’s gullet. Sora watched with a glimmer of interest. It was still awe-inspiring, even after a season, to see how big dragons were up close. Especially once you got up to the browns and bronzes and so on (and golds, of course, but the queen dragons were, naturally, much rarer to see, being only two adults and one weyrling).

There was a splat of blood on the ground and not much else left of the beast-meal when the dragon turned his head to look at her. She quirked her head. His eyes were changing color. She’d learned in lessons that color had to do with emotion, which kind of fascinated her - how would she feel if whatever she felt on the inside was reflected in her eyes? I wonder what color my eyes would be, she thought with a sense of tiredness. With her luck, some kind of muddy shade that made people fuss.

But the brown. Dominant green and blue, which meant calm and happy, right? But the yellow… yellow meant… stress? She couldn’t remember if it was worry or fear or what, but none of the yellows, oranges or reds meant anything good. She concluded that he probably didn’t want her here and she started to push away from the fence, feeling a little disappointed. The brown took off, only to come back around and land near her on the outside of the pen, extending his muzzle to sniff her. Kidpet? Kidpet? Waroth called them that, sure, and she accepted it from the red because seriously, who was going to argue with Waroth.

Sora offered the dragon a bit of a bow and extended her hand to see if he’d let her touch him. “It’s Sora,” she offered. “You didn’t scare me. I came out to watch.” Well, to be precise, she came out to feel some adrenaline, although she would never have been able to put it in those terms. To feel alive, she might have said instead. “Os’um’s your rider, right? May I ask your name, please?”

[RavenSong]

Rhodth watched Sora as she approached, letting her touch his soft, suede-like nose before he shuffled back a little and sat back down. He ruffled his wings just a bit, looking mildly agitated. The yellow faded from his eyes, showing just the blues and greens once more.

Why would you watch a dragon eat, Sora? Rhodth asked, tilting his head slightly. Yes, my rider is named Os'um. I am Rhodth. I am one of seven who arrived from Fort to assist our mighty mother Waroth in protecting this Weyr and everything she considers hers. He lowered his head a bit to see her better, turning his head from one side to the other to take her in fully, despite being able to see her quite clearly down his big snout. Do you like dragons? he asked.

Honestly, Rhodth, 'do you like dragons'? Os'um interjected, almost to the feeding pen. That's the dumbest thing to ask a Candidate. Ask her how her lessons are going, or how she likes it here at Dalibor! Of course she likes dragons, she's a sharding Candidate!

I don't talk to people and you know this, Rhodth shot back privately.

Yeah, yeah. Hold your herdbeasts, I'm nearly there.

Os'umMine is nearly here, Rhodth told Sora. He hesitated again, looking around to find his rider before looking back at Sora. Do you like Candidacy? he asked. Well, it was close. Rhodth, proud bear that he was, didn't really like things that weren't comfortable. He didn't quite like speaking to others. And as if to save him from further uncomfortable conversation, Os'um showed up, flushed and breathing a little hard, as if he'd been running. He had, of course, knowing his Brown's dislike of speaking to others. He was dressed impeccably, though, even with that run, a kind smile on his chiseled face. His short brown hair was easy to care for, and his blue eyes held mirth.

"Seems mighty Rhodth made himself a beautiful lady friend," he said, bowing to Sora in a courtly manner. "I am his rider, Os'um. You, madame Candidate Sora, have beautiful eyes." He smiled and leaned against a post. "I'm curious, what brings you out here to the feeding pens of all places? Most ladies wouldn't deign to watch a dragon feed." His smile was disarming, but his eyes were sharp, looking her over. He wasn't being lecherous, either. He was inspecting her to figure her out.

[Rii]

Huh. If Rhodth was Waroth’s offspring and respected her that much, it explained the whole ‘kidpet’ thing. Especially since he seemed to hold her in such high esteem. Fondness or high opinion often led to mimicry, in her observant-teen’s experience. Internally amused by that assessment in a dragon, she offered her response. “Because it’s… well, more exciting than watching people eat, I guess. And not too many other people want to come out here, so it’s a good place to get away from ones you don’t want to talk to anyway.” She smirked bitterly. “I like dragons a lot more than I like people. You might have guessed. The way you - the way dragons move, look, talk… it’s different. And you can fly - who wouldn’t like that?”

The smile that had started to grow, the sparkle in her eyes that glimmered at the thought of flight, like when she’d been brought back to Dalibor from being Searched, promptly vanished when Rhodth said his rider was coming. “Oh. Yes, candidacy’s good. A lot of work, but I’m used to that.” Sora hadn’t even finished this short assessment of being a candidate when a man - handsome and a little out of breath - came up to them. This, she judged before he opened his mouth, would be Os’um.

Annnnd yep. It was. She folded her arms across her chest, leaning against the rails of the pen, and offered a perfunctory smile at his flow of fine speech. “Just Sora, sir. I’m sorry if I bothered your dragon.” And she was sorry - it hadn’t been hard to tell that Rhodth had been terribly uncomfortable with talking to her, no matter if she’d enjoyed it more than the guarded exchanges she’d had with her fellow candidates. A moment’s gloom flickered across her features - she preferred the safety of being alone, she really did, really truly, and oh, she was so tired of it sometimes. Tired of how empty it made things.

She covered it with a smirk. “Rhodth asked the same thing, sir. I guess I’m not much of a lady. It’s…” don’t admit to being interested in anything, “something different to do. And it keeps anyone too fussy away - although they’d better get used to it, if they want to be paired with a dragon or wher.” It kept just about everyone away, which was a bonus because it meant she could think and feel her not-quite-numb feelings in peace.

Or not. Obviously not, because Os’um was here. “I can go away, if Rhodth wants to go back to his meal,” she offered with just a sliver of reluctance.