;;rising suns and anxious moons

[fidelli]

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong,
And no one understands you?

;;over the rim of the bowl, rukbat stretched out the glimmering rays and caressed the silent Weyr. nothing moved, and nothing broke the simple warm silence. sitting on the steps that led up to the dining hall, a lone creature watched the shadow slowly, ever so slowly begin to recede, trying to pretend it was never there at all. only the figure's pale green eyes moved, peering through ragged black hair that was to much effort to move. on the far side of the Weyr he could see a motionless large purple shape, and as he pushed his limits he fought to see clearer. for once the purple did not move, no more willing to break the ethereal silence than his frozen rider. it was not until the first singing bird called, waking up the chorus did he finally move, grateful not to be the one that broke the spell.

;;the colors were something he wished he had, he mulled to himself as he slowly slipped inside the great silent hall. it was cooler in here, the torches still lit as rukbat took her own time lighting the mountain. spring green eyes didn't mind, didn't really see the difference in lighting. they were off, staring at a picture that did not yet exist of a simple stone wall and the colors that marked the beauty of something not of this world. do not forget to eat, minelove.

;;voices in his head? with a start, he looked around - and then realized that it had been the purple. altith was out in the low slung clouds, diving in and out of the moisture, but he had known that his was getting distracted again. he did that too much... sorry, alti. i'm focused - i promise. tossing the jet black shag out of his eyes, f'del focused clearly on the empty dining hall for the first time, scanning for the kitchens and perhaps some klah - ah. across the room the man walked, a slim figure with just enough shoulder to pass off as stocky in the right light. on his head was a spray of jet black hair, and a gentle patience was worn about him like a cloak. it was a feeling that made you want to slow down and relax, to look around and not rush.

;;with a cup of piping hot klah in his hand and a small plate balanced on top of that with a piece of pastry and fruit, f'del settled himself down at a small empty table in the corner, and rolled out on the table what had been cradled in his hand. a piece of hide with the first sketches of a young woman's face, a slightly tilted chin and a cocked eyebrow. she had the rest of her physical features but her eyes - he always saved them for last. taking a sip of the klah, the thirty-two year old reached up under his hair and pulled down the stick of charcoal, neatly coated with a thin layer of wax to keep it from smudging on him. it was too late - working all night meant that he had it smeared across his cheek and over his eyebrows, forehead and eye - but he didn't really mind. even with the sleepiness staining the bottom of his eyes and the rumpled black breeches and gray tunic he wore, he still managed to look decent, and not nearly as old as he was.

;;it was with a patient air that he aimed a steady look at the shaded face and fumbled in at his belt at the same time. without looking, as though to not condone his actions, he allowed a drop of the sickly sweet pale white fellis juice extract to drip into his cup - just a drop. swirling that around, only then did he take another sip and sigh. the slight tremor of his hands abated, and a wash of nothing stroked over his tired brain. only then could he take the stick in hand and begin to etch out her eyes, keeping his mind blank and refusing to think. thinking was too much effort.

Do you ever want to run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud,
And no one hears you screaming?

[123notit]

Morning. Mornings were always the worst. The world was quiet then. The mornings allowed for reflection. Reflection on the past, reflection on when she would cuddle up next to him lovingly in the morning. No, reflection was not what he needed. Klah, klah would get sleepy mind up and banish his morning reflections. Perhaps, then, he could find a task to keep his mind occupied.

U'ar stepped lightly into the kitchen, grabbing a steaming cup of klah. He stood there and took a slow, deep swig. He sighed as the warm liquid slid down his throat, warming his body. He stepped out into the dining hall, eyebrows raising in curiousity as he observed another person.

This person seemed lost in thought, much like U'ar. U'ar took a step foward, letting his hide boot step somewhat heavily on the floor, alowing for an echo around the empty room. He didn't want to disturb this person too much if he enjoyed mornings just sitting around quietly, thinking. After all, most people didn't have bad things to think about. However, he wanted to meet him, at least talk to him. It could definitly take his mind off everything.

He found that talking was a good way to do that. He would often use Odyth for this purpose, but the Brown was still asleep. It wouldn't be long before he rose, but he'd rather not disturb his lifemate.

U'ar watched the other man for a reaction to his footstep, wondering if, maybe, he should go ahead and say something. He mused as he looked upon him that the individual had charcoal smeared across his face, causing a grin to pass onto U'ar's lips. Was he drawing? That was a skill that flew very far away from U'ar. He always strayed away from doodling and whatnot as a child. He preferred physical games then. Ones where you ran around and tagged each other and had a good time. He was glad that he was once again the kind of person who liked to be around others.

[fidelli]

I used to rule the world...
See it rise when I gave the word.
Now in the morning, I sleep alone,
Sweep the streets I used to roam

;;some say that eyes were the window to the soul, and f'del believed it. he was a big person to look one in the eye, and would continue doing so long after the next person looked away. it wasn't about dominance, though there was a part of the young man that rivaled in his power to never look away. it was about being able to see the truth in expressive orbs, or decipher meaning in those that were more opaque. it was the truth he seeked, in a way. he needed to be able to see the real person, and drawing the eyes was the next best way. the shape of her eyes, titled slightly at the corner's with a few laugh lines wrinkling them, was finished, and it was with a mounting glee that he focused more intently on the inner circle. this was where he waited for the right moment, the perfect feeling to bleed through from his mind to the hide under his hand.

;;from the room where they made the heavenly food another person entered the room - he could hear the light breathing, and that tiny sense we all had informed he that he was not alone. he paid no attention to his head mind - he had tumbled down the shadows and had gotten lost in the hole. he knew what he wanted to do, even as he gave her sparks and freedom, a window to fly from. it was painstaking, each etch carefully designed and executed.

;;thought... thinking... past or present, he avoided his mind. he preferred to escape to other places, deep in crevices and shadows of a hide where charcoal or ink could create a much better thing than himself. perhaps that was why he had his addiction - the juice created a fog that blanketed the conscious-subconscious mind. it didn't matter morning or night, afternoon or evening, for insomniac's often didn't mind the time. he knew it was morning because it was quiet, and the light was slowly starting to brighten - he knew it was evening because it was quiet and darkness was only held back by a single flame.

;;f'del was an active enough person - one could not be with a dragon and thread in the sky. but he had always preferred creating something that proving who was the biggest, the fastest, the strongest. of course he had gotten into tumbles and fights, and he had had his fair amount of broken bones... but it was more important to create things and release the impatient part of his mind that kept him up at night, bent over a new painting.

;;a last touch, giving her the depth those eyes needed - a hole to fall down, far deeper than any real place - and f'del sighed, slipping his pen behind his ear and running his hand down his face. this of course, effectively smeared charcoal down the side where his fingertips had slid over tan skin, but he was mindless of it. only hunger made him look up, up to where some part of him finally realized he wasn't alone.

;;"oh. hello!" the grin was relaxed, the words relaxed and quiet as he leaned back in the chair and ruffled the back of his hair with a hand. although he still had her other eye to fill in, his stomach was weary of being ignored, and he knew that not much was going to get done without feeding the monster. altith, a steady presence in his mind, poked at him to make a new friend. although his did have friends, he thought of them as too much like family. he needed to make other friends, those people he could smile at as he passed. his did not smile enough.

;;"would you care to join me?" the words were polite, and he watched the older man with a benign smile - gentleness and patience exuded from him, a mere shadow on the wall that might slip away with the rising sun. but he would do anything for altith - and that meant talking to complete strangers. pushing aside the picture and placing the plate heaped with food in front of him, he gestured polity with a hand. but he never looked at what he was doing, instead those pale green eyes studying the mans face with an artist's eye.

I used to roll the dice...
Feel the fear in my enemies eyes.
Listen as the crowd would sing,
Now the old king is dead, long live the King.

[123notit]

U'ar smiled, wondering is the other man knew his face was smeared with charcoal. U'ar would let him know...in time. He sat down in the proffered place, continuing with his smile.

"Thanks," he responded, breaking from his smile to gently sip his klah, "My name is U'ar. I ride Brown Odyth. You a rider here?" This was, after all, a good chance to make a new friend, especially a rider friend.

As he waited for a response, U'ar leaned forward slightly and tried to see what the other had been drawing.

((Sorry. I'm all >.< right now. Next post will be better and will arrive more quickly, lol))

[fidelli]

I used to rule the world...
See it rise when I gave the word.
Now in the morning, I sleep alone,
Sweep the streets I used to roam

;;studying someone is a fascinating detailed event, and f'del, with all his patience and relaxed attitude - helped down by the application of fellis juice - enjoyed doing it. he liked watching the man, curious about him - why was he here this early in the morning? questions tumbled through his mind, even as he took another sip of the klah infront of him. could he sleep? did he just rise early? did his mind haunt him, taunt him even as he tried to close his eyes? some part of his mind wished he could ask, but that was the mystery behind it. he had to think himself, find out why this man really was sitting down in front of him. everyone had an alternative motive, even if they don't realize it themselves.

;;the man spoke, even as he settled down infront of him to join the occupied table. 'thanks.' a nod - was there any real point in words? - and he randomly selected a piece of fruit to bite into while he waited. silence was never uncomfortable for him. 'my name is u'ar. i ride brown odyth. you a rider here?' information, to be processed and enjoyed like the delicious treat it was. first and foremost - introductions. "i would be f'del. mine is purple altith - it is a pleasure meeting you." he paused a moment from his slow, gently drawled words to clear his throat - and his mind - with another sip of klah, and continued. "we just transferred here a few days ago, so technically, yes." he did not think of this new weyr as home, yet. and a rider flew with a wing, helped make his home a community. he and altith had done no such thing - yet.

;;even as he muddled over the fact he felt useless, sharp eyes never left the man in front of him, and he saw him peer at his work. he knew he wasn't a bad artist, and saw the good and the bad in it - he just hated being judged. it was a picture of his little ''sister'', nim - her fire and dance and grace filled the page. it was her he didn't want judged, even as he slid the hide around and allowed him better access to it. words - useless to him - made other people feel comfortable, and so he murmured, "she's my sister. of course, my sister has a shaded and detailed other eye, but my stomach demands to be fed." even as he made the soft joke, smiling that ever patient smile, he finished off his fruit and fished a pastry from the pile. "help yourself."

I used to roll the dice...
Feel the fear in my enemies eyes.
Listen as the crowd would sing,
Now the old king is dead, long live the King.

[123notit]

U'ar gave a small chuckle at the joke, commenting, "That's good to know. That she has another eye, that is. That's quite good. You're talented as an artist. I can hardly draw a circle much less a person." He smiled at his own joke, not seeming to mind the studying he was receiving from the other man.

He refused the offered plate of food and continued to study the girl in the drawing. The other was a purple rider. Curious. He wondered if he was going to fly after the Queen in the upcoming flight. He also wondered if the dragon was like him. The man seemed calm and almost a bit spacey, but at the same time, extremely aware. It was an odd combination and U'ar wondered how the man became like such. Did he have a back story? He took a long drink from his klah, taking his eyes off the picture now to fully enjoy the liquid.

[fidelli]

I used to rule the world...
See it rise when I gave the word.
Now in the morning, I sleep alone,
Sweep the streets I used to roam

;;food was his favorite thing in the whole world, yes it was. especially this early in the morning. he loved hot klah with fellis. of course, he loved anything with fellis in it... moving away from uncomfortable thoughts about his addiction and how it played with his mind - was he going insane? - the man looked over at the brown rider as he spoke. 'that's good to know. that she has another eye, that is. that's quite good. you're talented as an artist. i can hardly draw a circle much less a person.' f'del liked the fact that the man was comfortable with teasing himself, and comfortable with jokes - it also helped he didn't mind that f'del hadn't taken his eyes off him since the beginning of their conversation. he wasn't a whore, unlike some yellowriders in the weyr - just interested in the person. he didn't think about anything - not the past, nor the future - but lived right in the moment. don't think about it to much either, because the moment would flash by in a ripple of color and be lost.

;;the man not taking food didn't stop the purplerider from taking another large bite of a new piece of fruit, ravenous - although that could be altith's stomach. i am quite fine mine. i am hungry, but i will wait for noyth. an inside smile, just for himself. how very like the purple to be monitering him - for someone as relaxed and goofy as the large unique creature, it was a surprise that he was such a mothering creature over his. which was why f'del wanted to spare him the flight - they would be nipping back to southern the moment he heard the first rumbles of a weyrleader run. it was easiest to stay away, to hide back from the mighty queen. he wouldn't risk his dragon, and kalith was young, ferocious. they weren't weyrleader material - he was content with wingrider, although they could have risen up quickly if they really tried. it was just perfectly contendable to be where he was, thank you.

;;for a moment only his eyes flickered away, the forefinger reaching out to smudge at an offensive part of the picture - only when the shading was perfect did he pick up the fruit and polished it off. the silence was comfortable to him, and he figured that if the brownrider didn't like it, he would break it. they seemed more interested in studying each other, each older man taking the other's measure. he knew that people found him odd, and some disliked him - he also knew that it didn't really matter what they thought. he just liked studying things - it was the artist in him. he saw things in a perspective other's didn't, and putting them down made them real. but even silence has it's limits, and when the man looked away from nim's picture he followed his eyes up.

"you want to ask me something. you can, you know. i won't take offense." he knew the man was curious - the fire lit in his eye enough that even the promise of unsatable curiosity would not dampen it.

I used to roll the dice...
Feel the fear in my enemies eyes.
Listen as the crowd would sing,
Now the old king is dead, long live the King.

[123notit]

Later in the day, the silence would probably be too overbearing for U'ar. Silence made him think. But he was still waking up. It also helped that part of his mind was asleep, the part that was Odyth. The dragon, though, would be waking up soon. He was sure.

As if on cue, Odyth felt part of his mind awaken. ~Good morning, Mine~ the Brown rumbled into wakefulness, ~You haven't been up for long, have you?~ U'ar gave an inward smile, placing his klah down. He didn't need it as much now; he suddenly felt much more awake.

'It's just been a short while,' he assured the Brown, 'And I've found company. A purple rider. ' Odyth expressed his approval and excitement that His had found another rider to talk to before he took off to stretch his wings. He would probably follow with a meal; his stomach was starting to feel empty.

With his dragon awake, U'ar was experiencing an increased need for conversation, being more awake. Luckily, F'del spoke up them. "Ask something?" he asked, thinking about what he wanted to ask him. There were a few things. Some easier to ask than others. He started with a simple one, "Are you to fly after Kalith? I hear she is to rise soon. She's quite a lovely Copper, no?"