Beginning Of The End {Post-Flight}

[Admin]

Let me see you,
Stripped down to the bone,
Let me hear you,
Speaking just for me.

A fair-haired young man, the rider of a fair-hided yellow dragon, general miscreant who did little good, a feckless flirt to anyone who came into his sight, awoke in his weyr before dawn. To either side of him, he knew, without even opening his eyes, that there were two bodies, perfectly alive ones, mind you, though they were probably a bit out of it. He smiled slightly, keeping his eyes closed, as he thought about yesterday, which had been a very good day. Wait, no, it hadn't. He'd gotten all moody during Annith's flight; it should have been something special for her. This wasn't love. It wasn't love that had brought two men to his bed. It wasn't even human lust. It had been dragon lust. This was all just dragon lust. Clamping his eyes shut tighter as he tried to fade back to sleep in the predawn light, a very quiet pitiful little whimper coming from him.

Roused by the distress of her rider, Annith rose, disentangling her body from that of the purple she had decided as the victor of her flight. She rumbled with discontent, eyes swirling a worried shade of pale yellow mixed with orange. Mine! Mine! P'nay! MineOwn! Love! No, no, no, shining star, only one, lovely one, caring one, perfect one; she crooned pleadingly to him, trying to break through the sudden blackness that was all that she felt of him as it surged forward. He'd been so well! So silly, but so well, all tumbled up and busy thinking about R'ish, and F'let, and L'can, and all the others! The agitated rumble that came from her chest became an anxious croon as she padded slowly, cautiously to the archway that went to her rider's rooms. Where was he? He was so black. It was hard to find him when he went into the dark and tried to hide.

Breathing speeding up rapidly, P'nay suddenly lunged out of his bed, tumbling over R'ish in the process but ignorant of the presence of the other men. A lime green dragon and a quirky smiling young man just a bit older than him, damn the memories. The dragon flew and fell from the sky intertwined in the grasp of a brown, but the man choose someone else for himself. Night after night, just the two of him, but then he'd been gone, just like everyone else! He'd been a traitor, a liar, a cheater! No, no, it wasn't their fault; it was just him that was the traitor, the liar, and the cheater. Somehow, he ended up pulling on his pants with these thoughts tearing at him, so he wasn't totally naked, though his whimpering and sniffling continued. Then he streaked out, heading for the ledge with so little intention of stopping.

NO! The roar came from the slight form of the yellow, who wavered on the verge of simply lunging at her running rider. She stared at him with horror as he teetered on the brink of their ledge and the dozens of feet drop in front of him, having barely thought to actually not simpl jump. Altith, wake up YOURS! Please, please, please, make him make him STOP! It's alright, Mine. Didn't I say that it was alright, that it was fine, before, Mine? She was distraught, but she held no fault from the faded, aged, hunkered figure who stood, swaying like he was drunk, with his feet halfway on stone and halfway on air. She knew this wasn't who he was but something that he held inside of him. She knew that he didn't even see her anymore, didn't see any of them anymore, hardly heard her. This was him at his worst, the truth of P'nay.

You're breathing in fumes,
I taste when we kiss,
Take my hand,
Come back to the land.

[jack]

R'ish...was smugly content, drifting off in his own mindless dreams as he nuzzled his way closer to that darling of a dear..that blond rider he was more than happy to follow just about anywhere. The night before had been perfect; a lovely little romp between the sheets with his favorite playmate and a new toy he'd certainly be sneakily investigating for a while now.

He gave a pleased sigh in his snoozing, wrapping his legs posessively around the others as he basked in the warmth of the man-pile, Gyth awakening to nudge his mind curiously before she curled up, pleased as Hers as she sunned on their balcony. But there was a draft sneaking into R'ish's thoughts and he gave a displeased grumble, trying to snuggle back into the warmth..only to give a yelp of surprise and sudden awakening as he felt a foot connect with his ribs--was someone walking over him?!--seconds before he found himself sprawled out on the cold stone floor, cursing in pain as he rubbed at his temples.

"Oi now...what's the big id--" Annoyance as he looked up turned to fear as R'ish's eyes widened, pupils shrinking to nearly nothing as he witnessed Annith's distressed cry, and P'nay's dash for the edge. A wordless squeal of his own passed through his throat as he stumbled quickly to his feet, racing to P'nay's side to grab him around the waist, dragging him roughly away from the lingering edge and to the floor. The pink-rider pinned his captive, straddling his hips and forcing him to stay down with his weight as he breathed a sigh of relief.
"B-By Faranth.." he breathed, trembling subtly as he knelt his head down, resting it on the man's chest as he shook his head, the soft locks on his head rustling. "F-Faranth..." He lifted his head, swallowing, "Shards, P'nay...you tryin' to give me a heart attack?"

[Admin]

Love of mine, some day you will die,
But I'll be close behind,
I'll follow you into the dark.

Something pulled him back, not mentally, but physically, pulled him back from the edge. P'nay let himself be pushed onto the ground and held down by the somebody who then rested on his chest. His eyes fluttered, trying to focus despite the fact that sometime less than little bit of crazy in him was enjoying wreaking havoc on him. He shook visibly. But he took a slow, sighing breath and then he cracked a grin, and stared at the top of the head on his chest. "No, no heart attack intended. Just trying to keep you on your toes;" he said devilishly, apparently back to normal, though he still shook badly.

Twisting his weight back, he surged forward, tumbling them over so that it was him pinning R'ish down instead of the other way. After a quick moment just grinning cheerfully down at him, he hopped to his feet. Then his face fell again, and he gingerly approached his tolerantly waiting dragon. She was calm now, and pressed her head forward. He wrapped his arms around it, pressing his head against her hide. You heard me. I am glad. I am glad that Gyth's helped too. Why were you so sad? You don't need to be sad!

Still feeling shaky, he stared at his hand rather than replying to her. It was still shaking, worse than he felt. For Faranth's sake, he'd just always jumped off a ledge! He'd been selfish . . . Growling in a way that was unlike her, she nudged him with the tip of her muzzle. He laughed, forgetting about the two riders and the other dragon in the weyr as he shared that odd moment with his own dragon. "I ain't sad. I'm just a bit odd, aye, right, love? It's my charm, and why ya' love me! The whole jumping off ledges thing wasn't a part of the package when you got me though, I know;" he said softly, but it was still very audible.

If there's no one beside you,
When your soul embarks,
Then I'll follow you into the dark.

[jack]

"Keep me on my toes...?" R'ish scoffed, lifting his head to stare accusingly down at the other, a clear glare on his face. Seconds away from starting a rant he grunted, wincing subtly as he was forced back and pinned, a pout settling with distaste on his lips. But while a million words were on his mind and dancing on the tip of his tongue, he didn't say a word, just watching with hooded--and still dilated--eyes as the man rose, and solemnly walked towards his dragon.

But the lingering form in the doorway wasn't quite as quiet. The tray held in bronze fingers dropped, glass shattering and wicker crushing as the basket of bread and the many dishes of treats were dumped the the floor, the delicate gifts spilling and splattering out on the stone. F'let's eyes were huge, wide and seeming to shake as much as his skin, which was rippling in uncontrollable shuddering. He seemed frozen in place, distress clear on his face as his hands hovered emptily above the dropped plate, shaking like tree leaves.

The boy didn't say a word, the voice shoved violently from his chest to leave way fro naught but...blankness. His flits were chattering in distress, Queen nudging insistently at his neck as though desperate for him to move, while Run and Ram squealed their worry for Theirs in loud voices, eyes whirling wildly. Doppelith was at his side, not frozen but in even more distress than the flits, his eyes whirling far faster than the easily overjoyed beast's had ever whirled, his head bobbing as he rose onto his hind legs, gently tugging on His's body with careful claws. But F'let didn't move, even as Doppelith gave an out-loud creen, looking mildly panicked.

His was blocking him out! Such an open boy...completely shut off from his own dragon...shut out from everything...

F'let suddenly swallowed, breathe deep and ragged as a hiccup-like sound echoed in his throat and he suddenly took a step back, then forward...as though unable to decide how to react. "P-P'n-nay...?" He at last squeaked out, Doppelith turning his head to stare at the blond, "Y-You...you...were...gonna jump.."

It wasn't a question, the terror in the boy's eyes and the dawning realization clearly stating his thoughts, "You w...were gonna jump....and...and die...." His eyes were welling up with tears, great brown beauties distraught and fearful, and his breathing increased its pace as he trembled harder. "You were gonna leave.....b-but..."

Great big tears slid down his cheeks and he gave a high-pitched squeak as he brought his arms close to his chest, bottom lip trembling as he took another step back, stopped only by the large purple lump which immediately wrapped around his arms, the worried dragon crooning as he coiled protectively, Run and Ram averting their attentions to P'nay with clear distaste.. "B-But w..why?!"

[Admin]

Stay with me.
Here with me.
Right in this instance.
Not in the distance.

There was a crash behind him. P'nay jerked his head around to stare with wide eyed horror at F'let and the tray that he'd been holding that now lay on the ground. At the sounds of his flitters and Doppelith crooning in distress, he winced and turned his head back towards Annith. He held onto her firmly, closing his eyes tightly against the world and pressing his face against the yellow's muzzle. With all his heart, he wished that they all weren't there and would disappear. Why had F'let come here? He was a weyrling now! He didn't need the rider to screw it up for him, which was what he felt he would do. Trying to sooth her rider slightly and be helpful, Annith let placate feelings wash over the young purple.

Trying to swallow the lump in his throat with his fists curling into fists, P'nay listened at the stuttered words that F'let slowly managed to get out. He didn't try to interrupt. He didn't try to defend himself. He didn't even speak at first when silence finally stretched on, except for the distasteful flitts and other draconic type creatures. What was he supposed to say? He didn't want to go to the place where the reasons for his action lay. He didn't want to try to explain. He really didn't want Altith to actually stir and have F'del come out. Not now that F'let was standing at his door.

"I could have survived. I know how to jump and how to take a fall. Any proper dragonrider does. It isn't that far down;" he muttered. He clung to the excuse that explained nothing, gripping and holding onto it for all that it was worth even as it slipped between his fingers just like everything else. Swallowing as best he could, he straightened slightly and turned towards the boy. One of his hands remained placed gently against his dragon's neck, the one support that he clung to that never ever slipped. "Just . . . just, please don't ask. Please . . . please, don't ask me about this. I just . . . just don't want to have to talk about it;" he said pleadingly, a pitiful, less than confident sight filled with desperation.

After that, there was a sudden shift in Annith's mood. She stood stronger and firmer, eying F'let's flitts now in a way that was meant to tell them to mind themselves. She continued to try to sooth Doppelith despite that, but she wrapped her own body and tail around her rider protectively. Yours is alright, Doppelith. He's just upset and confused. They get like that sometimes. Why don't you tell him how wonderful he is and that Mine is just confused and upset, like him; she spoke to the young purple, though the message also went out to pink Gyth. She kept Altith out of it.

It's alright.
Wherever you are right now.
It's alright,
That's where you're suppose to be now.

[jack]

F'let didn't believe him. It was clear on his face, the fear and distress melting away to leave room for disbelief...and a flicker of anger. "Liar." He let loose after a moment, one hand rubbing away his tears as he took a few steps closer, only to sink to the ground, arms wrapped around his knees and Doppelith hiding him almost completely from view. The boy reached out entirely to the Purple, wrapping his head in his long arms as he buried his face against his scales, gently caressing his neck with shaking fingers. "You weren't trying t-to just j-jump and land."

But he didn't ask why, didn't even try to. Despite his silence, however, he kept one eye trained on P'nay, the brown bobble no longer wide but aching, showing with clarity the hurt the man's actions caused. Doppelith was equally silent, tuning out Annith's words entirely as he nuzzled ever closer to F'let, more intent on soothing His and being soothed in return than paying a shred of attention to the Yellow.

R'ish, however, was a different story. He was far from distressed, his usually coy smirk and soft eyes harsh in a frown and a glare as he got to his feet and--somehow avoiding Annith's coils--backhanded the yellow-rider. Hard.
"You're an idiot." He snarled, showing a side of him that he hadn't put on display in years, "You're a shardin' fool!" He shot Annith a look, just daring her to interfere as though oblivious to her size and strength even compared to Gyth.

"Do you not feel anything for the people around you?" His attention back on P'nay the pinkrider leaned in close, hands on the man's shoulders and lips curled into an animalistic sneer, "Do you just not give a shardin' flip about us? About me, and F'del, and Gyth, and Doppelith, and F'let--even for your beauty, Annith?!"

He shifted, tilting his head so his hair ruffled to the side, eyes still narrowed and fierce, "Are you really that selfish? People love you, P'nay! And people shardin' need you. You may not think you're worth a wherry's toe, but there are people who would give their own toes just to be around you! Do you not care?! At all?!"

He leaned close, pressing his forehead against P'nay's even as a smaller body slunk close, a hand outstretched towards the yellow-rider even as he clung to his dragon. R'ish smiled and shifted, pressing his lips playfully against the man's cheek, "We're not gonna question you--"
"Yet."
"...yet. But you can't just walk out on us and expect us to stand idly by. Okay, P'nay?"

ooc:
Can we say lame? xD;; Sorry if it sounds wierd. Sounded good in my head. oo;

[Admin]

I have been asleep so long now,
All locked up without a key,
I have tapped my feet impatient,
For a change to come to me.

Words fell on roaring ears. P'nay blinked in surprise as he was hit across the face, staring at nothing in particular since he couldn't bring himself to fix the way that his neck had ended up after the contact for a moment. Twined around him, Annith was caught by surprise as well and was kept silent by a fierce look from R'ish, the attacker. It confused her. She trusted Gyth's rider! Why was he hurting her rider? She listened to him closely, trying to understand, but she also listened closely to the one she was trying to help and protect, trying to feel for his reaction through the turmoil. Things had been so good! So good because of Gyth's and Doppelith's! What was wrong? What were they doing?

P'nay stared at R'ish as the older man ranted at him, his expression sort of blank and distant. His thoughts trailed slowly through his mind. "You're an idiot. You're a shardin' fool!" Of course he was. He was well aware of that. "Do you not feel anything for the people around you? Do you just not give a shardin' flip about us? About me, and F'del, and Gyth, and Doppelith, and F'let--even for your beauty, Annith?!" Of course he cared! He tilted his head. "Are you really that selfish? People love you, P'nay! And people shardin' need you. You may not think you're worth a wherry's toe, but there are people who would give their own toes just to be around you! Do you not care?! At all?!"

Dull eyes, that had been for a moment sparked with emotion by his confused, turned towards a hand that was outstretched towards him. He felt lips press against one of his cheeks, and someone was pressed against his forehead, but he hardly reacted. "We're not gonna question you . . ." "Yet." " . . . yet. But you can't just walk out on us and expect us to stand idly by. Okay, P'nay?" Somehow words for lost to him, even though he knew that he'd been asked a question and should be speaking. There was no no witty, flirtatious comment that came to him. He only half believed their words, and his caring about them was only enough to muster up more self loathing. He cringed away from them.

Then a hissing growl filled the cavern. It was too loud and strong to come from a flitter or from young Doppelith. It didn't come from Altith. The aggressive sound came from Annith. Her head came between her rider and the others. Her swirling eyes, brilliantly red now, stared right at R'ish. You don't understand! You aren't me or Mine! You don't understand! Go away! Leave us alone; she yelled at the two humans, and only them, with fury in her mental voice. It was widely out of character for the yellow dragon, but she was sure of her actions. Though she loved the world to be perfect and to love everyone, her rider came before all others. She had to protect him and keep him safe.

It's alright with me,
I got a little light to shine,
You can't take what's mine,
I've been down so low.

[jack]

R'ish didn't say a word for the longest time, having withdrawn away from P'nay the moment that Annith raised her voice in anger. Even away, safe on her own ledge, one could hear as Gyth rose her cheerful voice into a solemn cry, her eyes whirling with despair and fret as she strained her neck over the edge, as though trying to see Hers despite the distance. But R'ish's consistent stay, stay kept her still, claws digging into the stone and hide trembling with worry.

The blond's grey eyes were almost as blank as P'nay's now, as he sought the other man's gaze, but it was clear there were thousands of thoughts running through his mind. Anger flickered only for an instant as he thought again over Annith's words, followed quickly by despair and a distraught twitch of one eye before both went solid--more icy and hatefilled than they had ever been before. Betrayal hid behind a transparent veil in his gaze as he scoffed, lip lifting up in a pouting frown.
"No, I don't understand." He replied coolly, not bothering to look at Annith, "And I won't. If he won't bother with us...doesn't care enough about us to even trust us with any of his shardin' worries he's never even hinted at, but rather dumps his depression and suicide attempts on us....then we won't ever know either." He shifted, turning his eyes on Annith, and outright glared, showing his fury and hurt in one fell swoop, along with a defiant fearlessness unfitting for his usual nature, "Personally, if he's going to ignore us and do nothing but prove how little he cares, I don't have any interest in knowing about whatever inner turmoil he has. He can deal with it on is own for all I care. Seems to work pretty well, doesn't it, Annith?"

He whirled away from both, grabbing F'let's arm and yanking him after before showing his back to the others and stomping off, "I'm done with you, P'nay. If you want a casual fuck, you'll have to look elsewhere," He glanced over his shoulder, looking with false disgust at the blond, "Not that you'll have to look far. Seems the whole shardin' weyr wants a piece of you..and not a one of 'em'll ask you any questions. Sounds like a great arrangement. Have fun."

And with that he was gone, disappeared out of the weyr--thankfully in pants--with his favorite shirt and a string of greenish blue beads--they had been around his neck last night..not really sure how they got at the foot of the bed under the furs--left strewn about in P'nay's weyr. F'let was in tow, his complaints--aka his blank, disbelieving stare--muted and his dragon squealing in distaste as he bolted after them.

Oddly enough his flits remained; all three of them. Queen hesitantly landed on the ground in front of P'nay as Run and Ram rudely landed on his shoulders, squawking at Annith before biting the blond on the ear and flapping off like their lives depended on it. Which it probably did. They betweened before they even reached the doorway. But tiny Queen still remained, staring up at P'nay with those big eyes of hers as she sat sheepishly at his feet, not making a move, but not moving to leave either. She just sat there, an ungainly baby--who still looked like a hatchling, oddly enough--with her haunches to the ground and her front claws between her back legs, wings spread haphazardly on the ground and tail stretched out behind her.

Just sitting...and staring....and tilting her head to the side as though trying to understand why her bonded felt such distress over this strange manfolk.

[Admin]

You say the honeymoon's over,
I don't wanna push,
But what about us?

The silence was worse than any confusing words. The silence with the distant cry of a dragon was even worse than the silence. P'nay pressed himself in close to Annith, into her hide that was warm from sunlight, deeper into her protective embrace. He didn't dare looked at any of them, only at his own hands, which trembled and wouldn't stop, and the expanse of smooth, pale yellow that was in front of him. The sound of someone scoffing made him torn between finding ease or at tensing for whatever came next. His entire body hurt, which was probably from being tackled to the ground, and his chest ached and his head pounded. Nothing seemed to make sense to him, which was because he was stupid, and selfish, and idiotic. He didn't see the point in saying something. He was too cowardly to say anything anyway. He deserved this.

Even accepting that, which was half a defense mechanism to keep any more pain at bay, didn't stop the ripping feel that went through him at each infuriated, disgusted sounded word that R'ish said. He didn't want to look more than ever. He didn't want to see what the other man looked like. It was bad enough to hear everything that he had to say, without having the words or the strength to defend himself as he clung to Annith. His grip on his dragon grew tighter at the sounds of two retreating humans and a squealing dragonet. There was a dull pounding in his chest to match each step, and it didn't go even when he couldn't hear the steps anymore. He felt hollow, more hollow than before, more hollow than ever. It wasn't bigger than any of the time someone had left, but he'd never let go of the others and this one just stacked on top of all of them.

Annith had defended her rider and faced the pinkrider for him. Now she had to try to put him back together properly. Her elegant body twined around him, she rocked slightly from side to side in worry and anxiousness. The motion didn't stop when he squirmed out of her hold and she straightened, because her worries only increased as he collapsed on the floor just short of a small green form that was there. P'nay stared at the awkward young firelizard that sat in the middle of his weyr from a sideways angle, blinking at her as confusion lightened his stricken expression to a dumbfounded blankness. His thoughts were slow in his head, as it filled up with the molasses that his state put in it. The green was Queen. The green was F'let's firelizard. She hadn't left with the others. Why hadn't she left with the others? Didn't she hate him too?

Very slowly, with a still fairly shaky hand, he reached out and gave the flitter's eyeridge a gentle scratch. It was soothing to simply stroke and itch the adorable little creature. The pain in his chest relaxed slightly and he felt like he could breath again after just a few moments. That was when he collapsed entirely against the cold stone, lapsing into sobs as tears slipped down his cheeks onto the floor. His hand rested against the ground a few inches from Queen since he'd stopped scratching her. The crying helped with the pain some too, though only a little bit and eventually there wouldn't be anymore salty, watery tears to cry. He'd pick himself up before Altith and F'del, who seemed to have not noticed anything, could notice anything. He would be gone soon enough, and he'd find himself some lonely part of the Weyr to keep to himself for a bit.

Don't want to blame you,
But we're in danger,
So what about us?

[fidelli]

CLAIMED

This is the next post I want to do as soon as I get the next Lesson up, but I do want Altith to be him, so this is to snuggle up to Jack and hope she doesn't get any ideas about posting before me. I LOVE YOU BOTH.

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