Bittersweet [Nia]

[kia]

I'm giving up the ghost of love,
In the shadows cast on devotion.
She is the one that I adore,
Creed of my silent suffocation.

O`ris was sitting outside of the Weyrling Barracks on a nearby ledge. He stared out toward the rest of the Weyr, just watching the everyday things. The first lesson had come and gone, and so had the feast to welcome the new Weyrlings. And it was there he finally come to his realization. But he did not want to think about it right now. Right now he just thought about the future. He had managed to write home once since his Impression, but he figured he would not have a chance to write hom again. But it was okay if it ended like that. All his cousins were going off and living their lives, some were going into crafts and others were Riders or becoming Riders. All he knew was they needed to separate from that past and move on toward the future. And O`ris` plans were to be a great Rider.

Rhyolith was lying down next to O`ris. While O`ris sat on a rock, the Cyan rested next to him besides the rock. On her back was Lira, who was as watchful as always. She had come to be protective of not just O`ris but also Rhyolith. Lira like Rhyolith, but that may have been because Rhyolith was more blue in color than green. O`ris was never sure how Lira would have acted if Rhyolith had been more green than blue. Lira picked up on this thought and chirped in protest. She did not want O`ris to have a green color dragon or another green color Fire Lizard. She was HIS Green, even though she was just a Fire Lizard. She would not share her Mine with another green color being. O`ris sighed. Rhyolith raised her head and nuzzled the Fire Lizard. She is just being protective, Mine. She loves you very much and does not want to see you disappointed, she told her Mine with whirling blue eyes. Put the question is, are you okay?

O`ris smiled, but almost is in a sad sort of way. "I am, Rhy. Just I easily wonder about the future and what all could happen. And I just want to make a difference."

You will, O`risMine. One day, you will, she said back happily. She knew that O`ris knew that she would always be behind him. And Lira too. All three were in this together.

Break this bittersweet spell on me,
Lost in the arms of destiny.
Bittersweet.

[Nia]

Avalle wasn't wandering without a purpose for once. Actually, she was looking for someone. Someone who'd seemed to be avoiding her for quite some time now, ever since the feast. Yulari was scouting ahead, it seemed that Callistath had been the boost the Yellow needed to finally break free of constantly clinging to Avalle. Not that the flitter was ever too far away, but she didn't constantly sit around the girl's neck anymore. The brunette kind of missed the weight, but after a while she figured it was better that Yulari was starting to get a "life" of her own. Who knows, she might even fly soon!

Like that was going to happen. Anyway, Avalle finally made her way back to the Weyrling Barracks, a little disappointed. She'd just wanted to talk, is all! It wasn't like she felt any of those stupid, girly feelings or anything.... It is okay to feel like that, Mine. It is very normal, just remember to control yourself. But I don't! I told you I don't! The embarassment factor went way up when her dragon was telling her to control herself. Of all things! Werylings weren't allowed to have relationships anyway, and she certainly couldn't, not if she was going to be a Junior Weyrwoman!

Just as she was about to give up and go oil Callistath and Yulari or something, the Yellow flitted back to perch on Avalle's shoulder, sending images of Lira, O'ris and his Cyan dragon. Aha! There he was. Her heart started pounding annoyingly, and she urged it to stop as she stepped forward. He was just a boy, and she was just a girl. A girl Weyrling. And he was her friend, and he'd been ignoring her... or avoiding her, sometimes she couldn't tell.

"Um, O'ris?" she said tenatively, raising a hand in hesitant greeting, "I, uh, I think... we need to talk," she said quieter, a faint blush appearing on her cheeks. Just go slow.

[/color] I KNOW, really, getting advice from her dragon was getting old. She could do this on her own! The "we need to talk" suddenly made her feel like they were dating or something, which made her jump and add, "N-not like that! I just want to know why you're... you know, avoiding me... or something," she was being vague and using dismissive words, but she really didn't quite know how to express what she was thinking. It must have been pretty obvious, but Avalle really didn't do this that much.[/blockquote][/size]

[kia]

O`ris was settling back into his gaze-like trance as his thoughts became swirls in his mind. Avalle, Dalibor, cousins, Lira, Rhyolith, all were meshed together in his mind. There was not one single thought. They were all thoughts. And his eyes seemed to glaze over as he became still like withthought, quiet, and solitude. Then gave the cheerful chirps of Lira, who apparently spotted something. A bug? A friend? Sure enough, the image he received was a friend. Yulari. O`ris`s stomach flipped. He had been avoiding her lately. All because he was, well, a CyanRider. But he did not look at men that way. He liked only girls. Keep calm, Mine. Relax and just listen., Rhy responded helpfully.

Rhyolith dipped her head in a bow to Callistath as a show of respect. Lira was very happy, flying in the air with Yulari, glad to see her friend again. Lira was always pleased when Yulari and Avalle was around. She still had to get use to the Gold dragon, but it would not take that much time. Callistath was Avalle`s dragon, which meant that she was as nice as Avalle, which meant easy acceptance. O`ris stared at Avalle when she said they had to talk. His stomach churned again. This would be the moment of truth, wouldn`t it? He gulped and looked down. He felt so wrong with these thoughts while Rhy was only a hatchling. But it was best to get them out now.

"Avoiding you is probably the right term," he said quietly, not wanting to admit the truth but knowing he had too. "I am just afraid. I mean, what else could I say? You Impressed beautiful Callistath, and I Impressed pretty Rhyolith. We are... on two ends of the rank system. You will be a QueenRider, and I will be a CyanRider. And, well, I no longer felt... right being able to talk to you. You are destined for leadership and to surround yourself with leaders. And while every Weyr needs dragons of all colors to run a Weyr, it makes no difference that I will be looked down upon by leaders as a simple CyanRider, whose dragon is ranked with those among Greens. We will be low, and you... you will be amazing," he replied. He then layed his hand on the rock next to him. "You might want to sit. This could... take a bit to explain through."

[Nia]

Avalle twirled her hair self-consciously. She really didn't like the idea of having to put all her feelings into words, because that was generally something she was very bad at. They always came out wrong when she had to say her feelings outloud! She'd scared off more than one potential love interest with her idiotic outbursts and awkwardness. But maybe O'ris would be different. No, she knew he'd be different, she could just tell. Afterall, he had yet to see her bad side... Avalle had been relatively nice and enjoyable at Dalibor, she hadn't snapped at anyone. Not yet, anyway.

Yulari was ecstatic that Lira wasn't giving her the same sort of awkwardness that Theirs were feeling, and she twirled around Lira with happy chirps. Avalle looked away from O'ris to watch the fire-lizards for a moment, wishing every friendship was as easy as that. Sometimes she wanted to be a fire-lizard too... they really had it so easy. She felt Callistath's slight amusement (and maybe disapproval?) at this thought, but the Gold didn't comment. Instead, she chose to speak to Rhyolith, who had so kindly bowed her head. Hello, Rhyolith. It is a very nice day, isn't it?

[/i] she said politely, chosing smartly to avoid the subject of Theirs. In the Gold's opinion, the riders had to work it out among themselves. It wasn't something for the dragons to get involved in.

The brown-haired girl found it hard to make eye-contact with O'ris due to the embarassment she was feeling, but she choked it back and kept her gaze steady. "But that's not true!" she replied after O'ris told her to sit down, and though she felt a little awkward she sat down, "You know that wouldn't happen. I don't care what other people think... and... and I'm not that amazing," she felt her cheeks grow hot at the mention of how amazing she was going to eventually be, and her low self-esteem was starting to show itself again. "W-well what I mean is, you'll be amazing too, you know? One of the first Cyanriders; you'll go down in history," she tried to say the correct words again, lacing her fingers together nervously. It was true, what he was saying was true and she couldn't avoid it. They were at opposite ends of the spectrum. One day Callistath was going to fly, and obviously Rhyolith wasn't going to catch her.

"And you know no matter what everyone else thinks and sees... I'll still like you! Okay?" she added and then blushed quite a bit, mentally hitting herself for saying even more nonsense that came off the top of her head. Really, Avalle needed to think before she just blabbed things out like that. Callistath was right, she had to learn how to control herself.[/blockquote][/size]

[kia]

Tension. There always tension around him no matter how laid back he tried to be around people. And even though he had somewhat been a leader of Candidate at his old Weyr, it really was not showing through much here. Though Avalle was different. He was comfortable and at ease around her, but also nervous around her at the same time. And knew the feelings from seeing it occur to friends and others around him. He cared a lot for Avalle. A lot more than just a friendship. He could cry, but he dare not do it around her. He needed to be strong right now. Not just for himself, but for Avalle too. Should he just tell her it will never work, that people would always look down on her id she tried to share a relationship with him? No, he hated that idea very much. He wanted to share life with her.

Lira could never feel awkward around around Yulari. Yulari was her friend, even though Yulari was a Yellow and slightly larger than her. Any feelings of feeling low in rank were gone from the little Green`s mind whenever she saw Yulari. Yulari was her friend, a fellow Fire Lizard, who she loved to play and send images with. And they had one thing in common more was that their Mines were friends. Right now. And even if the friendship ceased between their Mines, Lira would still continue to visit and play with Yulari. Things would not change between that.

Rhyolith rumbled in agreement with Callistath. Yes, it is a nice day. I hope it does not rain any time soon. What do you think of our WeyrlingMaster and his first lesson? the Cyan asked, trying to be polite. Though they were clutch sisters, Callistath was still a Queen and Rhyolith was a Cyan. For now, it would be fine for one another to speak more friendly than this, but as they aged so would their views become different. Rhyolith would learn to become very loyal to Callistath, and Callistath would learn to be a proper Queen and expecting formality with most of the lower rank dragons. Rhyolith was all too aware of this. She wasvery smart at the moment. But, then again, she had listened to O`ris` thought many times during his mental fights with himself over Avalle.

"You are amazing," O`ris said rather quietly, his eyes lowering for a moment. But then he looked back up as quickly as he had looked down. "Harpers won`t sing songs about first CyanRiders or anything. I have never heard any song that praises a BlueRider or GreenRider. I only hear of how the lower colors are set by rank and made to sear Thread. Every song about an amazing Rider is always about a King or QueenRider. I won`t go down in history like you will. I-"

His voice cut off as he felt as if he would cry. He certainly was not going too, but he was having a hard time controlling the breaking sound of his voice. He turned toward her, but he dared not reach out for her hand since the WeyrlingMaster had forebade that at the moment. "Avalle, I just want to tell you what goes through my mind and, well, my heart. I just want to tell you that I don`t care if you have to be in the arms of another man when Callistath Rises, and I hope you wouldn`t care that I was in the arms of another for when Rhyolith Rises. If we could just get past that part, somewhat ignore ranks partially unless we are in public or in Threadfall, if you could take all the scutinizing that others may give you and me, I really want to be there with you and be in your life. I know we only have known each other for a short while, but I never felt so sure of anyone in my life since you." He felt the heat rising on the back of his neck and partly in his cheeks. "But, you are you, and I am me. I can only speak for myself, not for you. And I don`t want to make you feel awkward or feel pressured by me. And if I do, I am sorry and just forget what I said. Forget about me." His voice was now breaking. "You are destined for great things. Don`t let anyone or anything stop you. Callistath and Yulari will always be there for you. Always trust them even when you cannot trust no one else or rely on anyone."

[Nia]

Avalle always felt herself saying the wrong thing when she was around O'ris, but that was just how she reacted to those sort of feelings. She just wasn't used to them, she wasn't used to affection and she wasn't used to having her feelings returned. A crush had always been just that, a crush. She admired from afar and was actually quite mean in person. But she'd made it her goal to stop doing that here, and to actually make friends with the people she liked. But she hadn't even realized she'd liked O'ris until it had been too late, they were already friends. Perhaps that was what made it easier for her to be around him, the fact that she'd thought of him as a friend first before realizing that she might have felt more.

Yulari had helped, of course, with her constant wanting to see Lira. If firelizards could have best friends surely those two would be, er, best friends. The Yellow knew nothing would ever change between them, firelizard minds didn't work like dragons or people, they were much simpler. If only everything was as simple as them, then maybe they wouldn't even have to be having this conversation in the first place.

I agree, I dislike the rain.

[/i] Callistath thought for a moment at Rhyolith's question, I quite enjoyed it. Altith has some very good ideals,[/i] Callistath ignored the wave of emotion from Avalle, she was getting quite good at it by now. While the Gold was going to help Hers with many things, this was something she refused to get involved in. And Rhyolith... well, Callistath knew they weren't going to become close like the firelizards or like Theirs, but she could easily get along with the Cyan. Callistath wasn't quite so arrogant that she wouldn't talk to the dragons of the people Hers liked. Afterall, proper ladies are not arrogant.

"W-well they might...." Avalle muttered, looking down at her hands which she had folded over her lap. Of course they wouldn't sing songs about the first Cyanriders... but she was sure she'd heard songs about Blueriders and Greenriders! Well not... specific ones.... but.... no, she knew it was worthless. She couldn't make eye-contact with him as he broke off, feeling that if she looked at him she'd burst into tears as well. And that would be embarrassing and she really didn't want to cry in front of him. As much as she trusted him, she didn't want anyone to see her weaknesses, and she probably never would.

She looked at him after he seemed to find his voice again, she tightened her hands and felt her heart tighten as well, but yes, it was forbidden for them to do anything besides just talk. It would confuse the dragons, or something... though, the dragons seemed fine, off in their own little world, Avalle didn't want to risk it. She tried not to cry, but didn't look away, as O'ris talked, nodding at parts and clenching her fists at parts. "I...." she started, and felt her voice break right away. But she tried again, "I... I could overlook that. I could. Flights... they don't really mean anything, it's just the for the dragons. I know I've heard of people having Weyrmates that aren't their flight partner, it's kind of rare, but it does happen! And even if it's never happened before, I-I'll make it... happen," she blushed at how intensely she was speaking, and toned down the volume a bit, "I couldn't forget about you. Um, ever.... There aren't a lot of guys that would be so... dedicated. I-I mean there's no way you'll get any special privledges or anything, you'll probably be... scorned by the... by the Bronzeriders and stuff but that's okay because so will I! So we'll just go through it all together. I'm sure this has happened before. But... um.... we really shouldn't even be worrying about this until we graduate from Weyrlinghood.... I think we'd get more in trouble if we were caught as Weyrlings than we would as adults...." she muttered with a small smile, but she couldn't look at him after her "speech" and looked back at her hands again.[/blockquote][/size]

[kia]

If Lira could speak, Lira would have agreed with Avalle`s thought. The little Green did view Yulari as her best friend and one of her best playmates. She chirped at Yulari a few times, conversing with the Yellow, before she picked up on O`ris`s feelings. Lira understood that O`ris was a little sad at the moment, but she hated for him to be sad. Quickly apologizing to Yulari, she flew down to O`ris and chirped at him for a moment. Her chirps, at best if they could be translated, were chirps of encouragement. She was trying to tell him to cheer up, that all be okay. He was a fighter in spirit, she knew, and he should not give up hope. Where there was a will, there was a way. Well, that was probably the best he thought she was saying. After all, she sending emotions of love and happiness his way. Then she finally turned back to the Yellow and chirped, trying to get Yulari to follow her. She landed on the roof of the Weyrling Barracks and looked over Yulari. She sent images to the Yellow, a Fire Lizard`s version of gossiping. She sent images of good places to hunt for food, to sun bathe, to bathe, and more. Fire Lizard life was simple, it seemed.

Rhyolith seemed to nod at Callistath`s comment. Her eyes were an interesting sort of blue color at the moment. But it could be from Rhyolith thinking. Yes, I don`t want it to rain. If I want to get wet, I`ll go down to the lake like the rest of the dragons and swim there, she added to the first comment. As the next comment about Altith, Rhyolith agreed. Yes, Altith does have some interesting views. I do have to say, he and his Rider seemed different. Not that they don`t seem compatible or else Altith would not have Impressed him, but Altith`s Mine seems to be really strict on our Mines. Of course, maybe when we get older, we can share our experiences with the next dragons after us. Especially you. You`re a Queen, and if there are future Queens, you will be needed. You will surely have to pass onto future Queens your grace. We cannot have a Queen who is disrespectful or will bring disgrace for DW. Rhyolith was trying her best to compliment the Queen while still staying on the subject. After all, Rhyolith cared about Callistath. Maybe not in way that O`ris cared for Avalle, but Rhyolith still cared for her in a loyal way.

O`ris watched Avalle lose voice for a moment. During that moment, he started to feel bad that maybe he had pushed her. Pushed her to where she was uncomfortable. He felt like this was all his fault. And then she found voice, and he felt a little relieved by it. There was hope and fear in him, happiness and sadness, and a wish. And then she said about making it possible. But she was looking away from him. He really wanted now to reach out and touch her face, to bring it back to face him again. She was smiling, but she was looking away. And he really wanted to see those eyes looking at him. But he allowed himself to fail to reach out at her. She was right like the WeyrlingMaster had been right. They could not do anything till after they reached certain step marker and most of the stuff had to wait till after they graduated. And one thing he really wish he could do was reach out and kiss her on the forehead. He had never seen her as a rude person or anything. He could never see her as one. He cared, no, he loved her too much that he could never see her beyond the beautiful and loving person that she was.

"I would never forget about you. You`re the most amazing person I have ever met. But you`re right. The Flights are for the dragons and so that way the next generation of dragons are born so Pern can continue to have DragonRiders. But we can get past the dragon Flights. And I don`t care about KingRiders. They are humans like us. We have feelings, we all do. And would never ask you to give me special treatment except to let me be with you. Whether it be as a loyal Rider to his Weyrwoman when in public, or maybe something more when it is just us." He blushed at that comment. "But, again, you are right. We should not worry about it till the dragons are older or we graduate as Weyrlings. And, besides being scolded, what could they do when we are adults? We have the ability to be with who we want and be friends with whom we want. I just know that I... that I want to be there with and for you always," he finally finished, smiling. He was feeling better, knowing that she felt for him too. But until they were official Riders, O`ris knew it would be hard not to try to hold her hand or even try not to kiss forehead. But he would wait and have patience.