Beauty in the breakdown

[Kila]

There was an extra sun gracing Pern today- one that, at the moment, kept home with the earth rather than the sky. Sunshine from above was dazzlingly returned by the glowing Orange dragoness that lay stretched over a long, warm outcrop of rock somewhere on the Western Continent.

Alizadehth lay with her head resting on her forelimbs, which were neatly and properly folded over one another in the most regal and lady-like of fashions. Her lithe, feline body was stretched luxuriously over the rock, accentuating her feminine features effortlessly, for although she was positively radiating in her proximity to rising, her body spoke for itself. She was resting.

Her rider, however, was not so peaceful. In the shallow cave that the two had been calling home for the past few days there lay a number of discarded things. Next to the worn, old shoulder bag that carried all of Varya's belongings was a near-finished map and a scattering of pens and ink. The manner in which the items were strewn about gave away their owner's malease.

Not far outside the cave Varya paced to and fro in the forest, her mood changing and flickering across her face and person like the light through the trees. For a moment she would pause, looking convinced and stable, then the next she would turn and prowl without commitment to another place where she would fidget and look about in a disconcerted way.

So much is accomplished- we are well on our way. The maps are almost finished, all the land almost charted out to our knowledge, and we are still mostly below the radar of Dalibor. Things are going well. Our numbers grow and will soon swell. And here I am actually doing some good;

she paced, and then

But how disjointed we are! And how little see D'ror or Y'nis. Alizadehth is about to rise and how should I know that they will even be here? What if she is flown by a Dalibor dragon? What are we doing getting involved with that greasy lord holder? Have we really resorted to kidnapping? We aren't supposed to be the villain-

she thought, her composure and focus crumbling in a downward spiral. Varya was a diagnosed bipolar patient, though her episodes were fairly few and far between, and since she'd help found the renegading party she had been motivated, positive and highly in control of herself. The elongation of this calm and the amplified emotions piercing her from Hers like lightning were enough to push her just over the edge.

MineOwn, stop this right now, Alizadehth said calmly yet firmly from where she regally lay. The slightest hint of irritation poisoned the edge of her tone- her patience even thinner than usual, even towards her rider. Here we are doing well. You worry for no reason and worry (irritate) me with your hysterics. The Orange was more straightforward than harsh, and did not bother to try to spare her rider's feelings in setting her straight. It was Alizadehth who was the one that generally repaired her breakdowns.

[Admin]

Put me in the hospital for nerves,
And then they had to commit me,
You told them all I was crazy,
They cut off my legs now I'm an amputee, goddamn you.

D'ror knew a thing or two about fixing breakdowns. He knew a thing or two about almost everything. Getting rid of the agitation he could easily detect in Varya's pacing hadn't been the purpose of why he'd come to talk to her. The reason was more likely to cause her to fly into a rage and attempt to kill him, or, at the very least, get very, very angry at him and have her proddy dragon almost kill him. He could multi-task though. And lower the chance of his death.

As quietly as could, which was basically silently, he brushed through the bushes and branches that hid him from notice of the worried figure. He made sure she was turned away from him as he stole up to her. His strong, firm arms wrapped around her shoulders, and he rested his head on one of those so their faces were right next to each other. He grinned at her, a facial expression softer than was typical. He had a soft spot for Varya. It wasn't much, but it was something.

"Does your beautiful dragon's extremely glowing complexion worry you, fair maiden?" His voice was lightly teasing, a soothing sort of playfulness to break any nerves. With logic built on turns of experience, he felt that complimenting the soon-to-rise orange really couldn't hurt anything. A dragon was never the lesser part of a pair. A dragon was strong, intelligent, and at least four times the size of any person, and that would be a white or a gray. Alizadehth was much bigger.

"Everything is going to be fine. You'll do fine, and I've got everything sorted out;" he murmured as reassuringly as he could, which was very much so. He was, after all, slightly conniving, and slightly manipulative. When it came to their group too, he was the oldest. The middle-aged creepy old man that he was, he had a good twenty turns on all the barely twenty-somethings he dealt with. Not that age had much to do with why he found Varya pretty.

Following in the wake of his rider, Abeneth skimmed through the sky. He came to land a respectful dragon's length from Alizadehth, and he submissively lowered his head to her. He very well knew the instabilities of dealing with a dragoness who was close to being Queen of all of Pern for a day. It was marked across his body, lines of dark, ruddy brown flesh puckered up and an awkward mark on his tail. They were enough pain for him.

You look very nice, Alizadehth. Much more beautiful than Mine could ever put in words; he said simply. There was eloquence in it, but simply because of how it was. His tone wasn't special, but he did his best to express, in a message of emotions and pictures, just how stunning she was. Someone was quite smitten with a certain orange he was talking to. Someone was smart enough to see enough of the future to know what was going to happen in a few days. He wanted to win.

I'm not sick but I'm not well,
And I'm so hot cause I'm in hell,
I'm not sick but I'm not well,
And it's a sin to live so well.

[Kila]

In her overly-sensitive state, Varya was stung by her dragon's firm rebuke and recoiled at her sharp words. After the slap of them had somewhat sunk in, she turned her head stubbornly in the opposite direction, followed it promptly with a snap of her body, and continued her pacing. She was a bit sullen, yes, but already she felt calmer. At least for now.

So out of her normal, highly-alert zone as she was, Varya completely failed to notice D'ror's presence until he was right upon her. It was a good thing he swooped down and wrapped his arms around her, for when he touched her with no forewarning she jerked terribly and would have struck out at him had her arms be free. It only took moments for her to recognize him, though, and calm. Her breath came out in a grateful sigh. That touch, that voice, that smell, that feeling-

"D'ror," she sighed, resting her head and cheek against his fondly. Her body untensed and she relaxed against him, comforted by his touch. Few people would guess that they shared a long and intimate history. Abeneth had flown Alizadehth several times in the past, and many times they had been together as lovers and companions. The renegades expedition in the Western Continent had thrust them mainly into the realm of planning and business, so it had been quite some time since they had been together with something other than schemes on the mind.

Besides all that, Varya was very fond of D'ror. The vast majority of men she refused to trust, many even to collaborate with, but there was much about him that had grown on her. He was a good deal older than her, but she rather liked that. Men her own age generally lacked any real maturity of experience in the world. He was smart, even if he didn't always use his brain or put it towards the most wholesome ideas. Then again, little in her life was normal, so adventure and a little... unwholesomeness was just what she needed.

"It doesn't worry me," she said, closing her eyes and denying the weakness automatically, "But you know how I get." And he did know. How wonderful it was that he knew and she didn't have to explain herself or be otherwise judged for her moments of weakness that she so hated. She smiled as he murmured reassurances in her ear and placed her arms on top of his, tightening them around her. "Of course you have everything sorted out. What a relief that you usually do."

Alizadehth was not so impressed by her suitor's arrival as her rider was. The dragoness only opened her eyes a slit as the Brown approached. His courtesy however, pleased her. Abeneth was smart to keep a respectful distance, lest he was out to gain another scar, and he flattered her. The admiration in her voice made her want to croon with pleasure and flirt until she drove him insane all at the same time, but she remained aloof. She was a Queen- she was above the world.

Hello, Abeneth, and thank you, she replied coolly but still with a hint of coyness in her voice. Her temperament was far from stable, though, and like her bipolar rider her temper could flare and her mood could change at any moment.

[Admin]

Listen when I say,
When I say it’s real,
Real life goes undefined,
Why must you be so missable?

It was relaxing for him to feel her relax against him at his embrace. It was his pleasure to feel her cheek against his. The happiness and peace wasn't complete for him though, just a small fix that couldn't quell his plans. It couldn't make him feel really guilt about what he'd done. She was his favorite, his partner in crime, and someone he gladly played a rock for them to hold themselves steady. However, there were things even he didn't tell her and she'd never be his beautiful, his amazing, his perfect. He only had so much to give, much of him being plans over layers of revenge.

The coyness of in her voice was difficult for Abeneth to figure out a way to respond to properly. You're welcome; he settled on, before glancing over at his rider to see what he was doing. His Mine's emotions were always so confusing to read. He wanted to see how he could be both so happy and so cold. He trusted his Own, but even he hadn't understand him entirely for turns.

D'ror knew exactly how she got. She was one place and then she was another. She could be a real terror, worse than him or anyone else, but they'd she'd suddenly be reasonable and rational and strong again. It was intriguing for him, and it always felt good to watch her in her normal state when he could still see the weakness behind her. It felt good to feel her twine her arms with his and draw him closer to her. He gave her a little squeeze around her shoulders, and smiled at her. His eyes looked tired. It was all too bad that he was going to ruin their cute, sweet moment together.

Abeneth was paying enough attention to what his rider was going to do right then and shifted himself back before he spoke. He didn't want it to seem like he was retreating from the orange because he feared her wrath. He just wanted to be out of her range before she got into a wrath. He really didn't want to have to have to heal from anymore wounds that would give him more scars. Pain was bad.

Taking a deep breath that he let out in a content sight, he enjoyed one last moment of peace and serenity, nodding vaguely at her reference to him always having things taken care of. "Now, about that. T'el and I did a bit of a display at Western Hold. With kising;" he got quickly out. As he said it, he tightened his arms around her shoulders, so she would have a very difficult time hitting him. He was hoping that their bodies were close enough that she wouldn't be able to kick. She could probably stomp on his feet, and that would hurt. Telling her was better in the long run.

"It was important. We can't stay hidden. Not with Alizadehth rising soon;" he continued, hoping to soon her into not hurting him to much or being to mad. He was hoping that the last part would get her attention. If she wouldn't listen to him for anything other reason, she would listen to him for her dragon. He had done it for her. And other reasons. He always had multiple agendas.

Under the summer rain,
I burnt away,
Under the summer rain,
You turned away.

[Kila]

"Now, about that." His words immediately threw up a pulsating red flag in Varya's mind. She would have turned on him at that, her mood already flashed and she was light years away from the content, sweet little thing she had been only moments before, but he had foreseen this reaction and tightened his arms securely around her. And then he explained. And then it was worse.

"WHAT!?!? WHAT IN FARANETH'S NAME WERE YOU THINKING? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!?" she exploded. The fact that struggling would be futile did not occur to Varya in the least. As she screamed she lashed out, pushing outward with her tangled arms as hard as she could. Varya was exceptionally strong for a young woman because she consciously kept herself in peak physical shape, so holding her against him proved to be no walk in the park. She couldn't break free, which enraged her more, but she sure wasn't going to make her captivity easy.

"KISSING, D'ROR? ISN'T Y'NIS ENOUGH IN THE GROUP? AND WHAT ELSE WAS IN YOUR LITTLE DISPLAY WITH THAT LUNATIC SEX-FIEND FOR THE WHOLE OF WESTERN HOLD TO SEE? IS THERE SOMETHING YOU WANT TO TELL ME, YOU SHARDING MORON? OR DOES ALL OF PERN GET TO KNOW THAT YOUR AS BENT AS A GREEN-RIDING MAN IN TIGHTS BEFORE ME?!"

Her anger wavered here a moment and was replaced with sorrow and hurt. Her eyes swam as she looked up at him. "Don't I matter to you?" This brief but touching relapse lasted for a much shorter time than D'ror probably would have hoped. Sparing little time for tears, fury again overwhelmed her. "SHIT!" she resumed, stomping down her foot on D'ror's as hard as she could and continuing to thrash.

The thing that finally stopped Varya was the mention of Alizadehth- her dragon, her other self, the only one who mattered more to her than the man she was currently trying to tear to pieces. The reasoning that his little display was somehow towards her benefit, faulty or not, gnawed at her and she gradually stopped struggling. "How was it important?" she finally asked, standing coldly and unresponsively in his grasp. "What did you do?"

[Admin]

A crown of gold,
A heart that's harder than stone,
And it hurts a whole lot,
But it's missed when it's gone.

D'ror calmly held her as she struggled against him, her yelling a more conscious discomfort than her flailing. The only thing that really got home though was that pained look in her eyes when she turned her head towards him. He refused to budge even then, but he gritted his teeth well before her foot collided with his foot. He thought he heard the crunching of bone. She was certainly strong enough to have broken one of those that little bones. He ignored the pain, as he ignored many things he so very much wanted to do in that situation. He just couldn't let anything break him. Not again.

When she finally stopped struggling, he let her go and then stepped back. He smiled a little, pained smile, and the pain wasn't from his foot, at her. "I kissed him, and I told them T'el's name and my name, and that we'd be around;" he explained, slowly and carefully to her. "Nothing else happen. We just left on Sjueth." There was the lie. More had happened. They hadn't just left in anyway. But he couldn't tell her that, so he didn't.

"I am not as 'bent as a green-riding man in tights', but I am bent. I always have been;" he explained to her, thinking that there was no better time to mention that then right at that moment. "But a kiss is just a kiss. I'm not free with my love;" he told her, letting a bit of pleading fall into his tone. Sex wasn't love. Sex wasn't love. He chanted that to himself. He hated lying to Varya. He needed her, for his plan, because he liked her. "Just, please, just believe me that this is important? I'll explain it to you later;" he promised her, and then he turned and was gone.

In perfect timing with his rider, ever the attentive errand boy, Abeneth lunged to the side, loping across the ground. He passed close enough to D'ror so the man could grab a strap of his riding harness and pull himself up, and then the brown lunged into the sky. His strong wings pushed downward and his body rippled with the muscles hidden under scarred hide. We must go. I am sorry, Alizadehth. Please wish Yours well; he said, and disappeared between. He was genuine. The genuine one of the pair.

It's as cold as a tomb,
And it's dark in your room,
When I sneak to your bed,
To pour salt in your wounds.

[Kila]

Varya did not buy any of the explanations that D'ror was feeding her, but what choice did she have? She would have liked to believe them, but she knew him too well. His moral character itself was almost a fabrication of lies. Lying was his life. Varya liked to think that she was more susceptible to receiving the truth than others, but the things one hoped for were innately a far stretch from the truth.

And did withholding the truth count as a lie? If it did then she'd been lied to far more than she'd even expected. How odd that he'd never thought to tell her of his expansive sexual preferences- she supposed it hadn't mattered since he'd had her many time before. Pig.

She said nothing to him; not when he spoke, not when that note of plea slipped into his voice, not when he left as quickly as he'd come. When he was, though, she slowly allowed herself to crumple to the ground. Men. They were so stupid. Why did she like even one? Why this deceitful one? Must all of Pern crash down on her at once- whatever was the next domino in the effect?

"I HOPE I BROKE YOUR FOOT! she shouted at the empty sky where he had been in a brief re-flare of anger before settling back down into her misery.

Alizadehth had not been terribly bothered by Abeneth's presence- he did admire her, after all- the combination of the stupid man rider messing up their carefully constructed plan AND further upsetting her dithering rider provoked the queen from calm to fury as though it was nothing. She reared on her haunches and roared, her impressive glowing form glinting dangerously in the sun. How dare they!? But the explanation was soon over and the antagonists intelligently yet ungracefully fled with haste. Abeneth's departing pleas and well-wishes were dismissed before they were even heard.

MineOwn, come here, she demanded when they had gone, her fury already been lessened by their departure. Hers was even more of a mess now and needed her. When Hers was in this state she needed to be protected and loved, and Alizadehth was ready to love and protect. Soon Hers would not need it and again they could stand strong together and reconstruct the plan. Come, Mine, she said again strongly but kindly, going towards her rider.

Varya looked up with swimming eyes and obediently rose to her feet, dragging her feet towards Her and then breaking into a run and collapsing against her as they met half way. Love...

Yes, Mine, hush now. It is all ok. Chin up. Where is that heroine now? Men are needed only to give chase when we call them; you must not let that silly rider upset you with his lies and foolishness. You don't need anyone- you have me. I am here. Hush, Mine, hush...

[Fin!]