The Truth is... [Zeppy]

[Raining]

You’ll be my something else.

He couldn't wait.
As soon as Fortath was awake enough to come with him, as soon as someone had at least set his nose. Ghols had told him K'ius had left before the hatching ended... he needed to go get him before his courage slipped through his fingers, because he did care. More than the pink rider knew. Al'dr... where are we going? What's wrong?.

Al'dr.
It was still alien to him, just like this now constant presence in his head... and yet it completed him in a way he never thought possible. The new weyrling struggled for words, he was still trying to work out what he was going to say and his heart hammered relentlessly against his ribcage. Along side his own probably panic, there was confusion forcing its way in... along with worry. "Its fine... I'm fine. I just need to fix something... and then you can sleep some more." There was a pause, What did you break...? Love, you don't feel fine..

Al'dr stopped his semi-quick pace to look at Fortath, the hatchlings eyes were a yellow green. Shards... he's going to have to keep it together. He ran a hand over his face... he wasn't sure how well he'd be able to. Hey, lets just go back with the others, and I can introduce you to the rest of my lovely sisters. Then you can woo theirs with that charming smile of yours.

[/I] The weyrling faltered pausing at the threshold that lead up to some of the Riders weyrs. "I... need to-" Fix something... okay Al'drLove okay. But... you're scared?. "M'not scared. Just... worried this will blow up in my face." Like your nose?. Al'dr choked out a laugh easing the tightness in his chest a bit, which in turn calmed the panicky whirling of yellows in his dragons eyes. "Hopefully, not so bloody."

The weyrling soon found himself at hopefully Kai's door. He knew where the weyr was from outside... but his mental map of where it was got him all turned around inside. His hand hesitated at the door, his chest still tight... and he still had no clue what he was going to say. His hand trembled some. It was ridiculous, he's never had this problem talking to Kai before. Never. His head was whirling, trying to find something that made sense... K'ius was there at the hatching, he must not hate him. Al'dr..?

He took a deep breath and just knocked, hesitantly, on the door. He could feel Fortath's worry, he understood why... Al'dr was a mess and it took most of his willpower to convince himself that this was going to be fine... as fine as groveling could be. He backed up a step and rested his hand on Fortath's head. The worst that could happen right now he's refused entrance. If this was any other time, he would have no problem just walking in... but now? The time it took for something to happen, Al'dr used this time to just breathe and calm down -- he needed to be able to explain things calmly without panicking and shutting down.
Fortath didn't want to be here, especially when his was so worked up. But he could also feel this was important to Al'dr. If this something was as broken as he said, then it really did need to be fixed. But... Al'dr's emotions...

"I'm okay Fortath... " he told his dragon trying to ease his worries. You still have blood on your face, by the way.

The only else cared for you are...

[/font][/blockquote]

[Zephyr]

Shobhaith had returned from the hatchling shortly after Kai had made it made to the weyr. The room was too big and too empty; far larger than Kai was used to, and he often tried to stay away from it if at all possible, but he was exhausted. Probably not as tired as the candidates and weyrlings, but he was tired nonetheless. Worrying and thinking too much did take its toll on someone, and when the dragon showed up, K’ius was laying in his bed, curled up and fully clothed, a few firelizards scattered over him. Eponine and Jax were curled up in the corner, fast asleep, and Jaeger was lurking not too far off, watching the pair with waving antenna and waiting for his chance to poison the dog.

The purple settled on his ledge, looking over the prone boy for a long time before either of them deigned to speak. At last, it was Kai who broke the silence, his voice low and thick. “Have fun with your girlfriend? You know you didn’t have to roll over so easily.” He thought the words were meant to sting, and it hurt. He was taking his feelings out on the only being who would trust him indefinitely, but he couldn’t help the emotions rising up within him, emotions turns in the making. If Shobhaith noticed the sting to the words, he ignored it.

Instead, he reached over and grabbed Jaeger deftly and carefully between two claws as the black pillie made a lunge at the sleeping dog and settled him gently between his massive forepaws, much to the bug’s chagrin. If your boy wanted you on your back, would you go? His voice was soft as he dragged a claw delicately down the carapace of the disgruntled pille, who was uttering a grumpy Kwakaka kaaaka in argument.

The question caused Kai to jerk bolt upright, gaze jerking to the dragon. Brown eyes were wide and face was flushed. “What! No! I don’t know what you…” His words stuttered into a spectacular mess and he just ended up grumping, pulling himself to the head of the bed. Shobhaith was endlessly amused by the reaction in his head, and his firelizards, scattered, tried to find another perch. Puck and Mab settled on Shobhaith’s shoulders and Titania disappeared to the far side of the room, Oberon following her like a puppy. Kai glared at the dragon. “I hate you. So much. Just wanted you to know.”

Without letting the pillie free from the cage of his paws, Shobhaith laid down rumbling his laughter lightly. Liar. And I know you’re only mad at yourself right now. You should have congratulated him, you know. He might never forgive you for just leaving like that. That was probably the least helpful thing the dragon had ever said and Kai gave a dramatic sigh, hugging his knees to his chest. He was about to spit something out along those lines when a knock at the door had him jumping in his skin. “Who is it?” He asked Sho. The purple turned blue eyes to the door and was silent for a moment.

Who do you think? “Oh Faranth.” K’ius groaned and sank to the bed, burying his head in his blankets. “Tell him I’m not home.” Shobhaith stared at the boy for several long seconds. You are ridiculous. Before he turned to the door and said to both Sandr and Forthath waiting on the other side of the door. Just come in, he’s being a child.

Hair messed up and eyes narrowed, K’ius got out of bed and tried to straightened his crooked clothes, glaring at Sho, his gaze saying more than words ever could. I. Hate. You.

[Raining]

Shards he should have... changed before coming here. He probably looked like a complete mess, he shot his dragon a look and the little blue only flicked his tail once before wrapping it around himself. Amusement filtered through their bond, that was a feeling Al'dr recognized quite well. Fortath's comment had the desired effect, instead of nervous His was now worrying about the state of his robes, and his face.

A voice he recognized entered his mind, and he almost sighed in relief. K'ius acting like a 'child' was nothing new... but he's never really been on the receiving end. Or he's never let himself be, if Kai was ever mad at him he would have shoved himself into his friend's space anyway. But this was different.

Before he could second guess himself, Al'dr grasped the handle and pushed open the door. Fortath hesitated but strolled in first not particularly enjoying the atmosphere that hung heavily between them. So he's the one you broke? He looks fine... if a little upset? I don't understand your face expressions yet Al'dr. "You probably never will..."

The newly named Al'dr tried quirking a smile, now fully self conscious of how he looked. Dried blood on his face, isn't the most attractive thing ever... but he panicked getting here okay? He seemed to be doing that a lot, moving and thinking without... actually properly thinking about it first. "Hey... Kai." he greeted awkwardly, completely oblivious to Kai trying to straight himself out. He cleared his throat, "sorry about..." he said vaguely indicating to his whole self, bloody face and torn robes (thank Faranth for under armor?).

"I... need to uh... clarify something... about what happened the other day," oh shards, his heart beat picked right back up as his eyes darted away from Kai's face. He didn't want to see what was there, the look on Kai's face at the waterfall. -- it hurt to see. Fortath turned his head to look at his rider with concern, yellow touching his eyes. The young dragon locked eyes with Shobhaith trying to find a way to distract himself. This was important to His... he wasn't here to ruin things. Al'dr is sort of awful at expressing himself I think, the blue directed to Sho in attempt at light humor. He hoped the older dragon would indulge him. Though this earned a slight sigh from the rider in question... but it helped try and sort out his thoughts for the next... second.

"I messed up... badly," why was this so hard? Finally he lifted his blue eyes to K'ius' face, with guilt and maybe slight hurt written all over his expression. "wh-when you asked me if I cared... I lied," he tried to elaborate but his mind came up blank. Running a hand through his hair he sort of paced for a second before returning to where he was. "I hurt you... you... I am so sorry. I didn't mean to say what I did...I didn't mean to hurt you."

[Zephyr]

This wasn’t how he was expecting to spend his evening. He actually didn’t know how he was going to spend it…moping around probably. Sho was actually glad Sandr showed up, because he wasn’t sure he’d be able to stand K’ius’ mopyness for too much longer. The purple settled back down with Jaeger the pillie, keeping the thing from running up to the newly bonded pair. He remembered Sandr’s fear of all things creepy crawly, and Jaeger was making his disappointment known…loudly. Shobhaith settled a single paw over the pillie to keep him there while the boys spoke.

Kai’s gaze fell from Sandr to the blue hatchling at his heels, and the boy’s face was unreadable. He couldn’t tell if this dragon was going to bring them together or tear them further apart, and the unknown was stifling and frightening. His gaze flickered from Fortath back up to his best friend, and he almost forgot why he was so mad at him, at the sight of his bloodied face. Fingers twitched at his side, and his entire body swayed in an aborted jerk. Remember the baby Sho’s voice was firm, and Kai settled back into place, letting Sandr speak.

His words caused the boy to stare, his expression slowly changing into something…something more. He wasn’t sure what else there was to clarify…unless Sandr was going to elaborate on how much he didn’t want Kai near him. Maybe he was going to tell him that he didn’t want to be friends anymore. The thought hurt more than it had any right to. Sho sighed lightly, turning his attention to the hatchling. He could tell the baby was distressed a little, and he entered his mind, soothing and comforting. He’s not the only one. You should hear K’ius stutter. It’s adorable

Eponine had woken and while Jax was trying to get Sandr’s attention, Pony was watching the hatchling curiously. Bounding over, she dug through the pile of goodies she had accumulated at the side of K’ius’ bed. Pleased with her choice, she brought out a small, shiny red gem and brought it up to Fortath, offering the hatchling the small, shiny object shyly, her tail waving.

Meanwhile, Kai’s eyes were slowly widening. “Sand…crap…sorry. I don’t know what to call you.” He blushed and fidgeted, digging his fingers into the hem of his shirt. He froze as the other boy continued, eyes shooting up to study Sandr’s face…a face he knew so well, even through the dried blood. His heart stopped for a second and he barely breathed. “Wha…What did you mean to say, then?” He’s learned not to let himself hope.

You usually end up disappointed.

[Raining]

The soothing mind that entered Fortath's definitely helped, in fact the little joke had most of the yellow in his eyes swirling back to mostly green. The little blue thrummed somewhat amused because as the conversation progressed, he did pay attention to K'ius as soon as words left his mouth. He had to focus on something, and even Al'dr's piqued emotions weren't bothering him. Okay that was a lie, but K'ius did stutter and the little blue laughed. Aw you're right... Al'dr's gaze would occasionally snap to the small dragon with a quick question -- but he didn't have time to ask.

The dragon was further distracted by Eponine dropping a pretty gem at his feet. He cooed at her lowering his head to nose the gem, thank you, its really pretty~ If she were a dragon he would have probably added on 'but not as pretty as you'

Al'dr while not completely privy to what his dragon was going on about, was instead watching the small range of expressions on Kai's face. The widening of his eyes sort of have him hope that he would at least hear him out instead of shove him away. When K'ius stumbled over his name, he waved him off. "Al'dr..." he told him, and there was a ghost of a smile on his face. They both knew how he felt about his full name. His new name cut everything out but the first and last two letters. If things were okay, he'd be able to joke about it.

But then again if things were okay he wouldn't be here trying to apologize.

Kai asked him to clarify, this was his opening... this is where he would tell him the truth. Al'dr faltered and his fingers on one hand drummed against his leg, which... suddenly summoned a puppy. Well Jax was a dog, just not a very large one. He bent some to scratch at the dogs ear, running his other hand through his hair. "I..." he tried, "the truth is...I do..."

Fortath shifted closer to Al'dr, wrapping his tail around his paws, and his riders feet. "I do... care about you. I have... for a while now." Eyes which were at his feet now flickered to Kai's face, and stayed there, searching his brown eyes for anything. Though he didn't know what he was expecting. "I'm sorry for hurting you... I didn't mean to say what I did. I don't know why..."

Al'dr took a small step forward, "I wasn't even going to show up here, I didn't think you wanted to see me again. But you were there today at the hatching..." there was suddenly a hopeful look, "for me?"

[Zephyr]

Told you Shobhaith rumbled to Fortath, tucking Jaeger safely into the crook of his arm. The pillie had tried to bite him several times, but the dragon’s thick hide protected him to the point where he barely felt a thing. I wonder if dragons ever eat pillies, he mused aloud to the pillie, Something to keep in mind, isn’t it? Jaeger settled down then and just sat near Shobhaith, his feelers swaying and twitching.

Huffing, the purple dragon stretched his neck out and watched the exchange from the spot on his ledge.

“Al’dr…” Kai murmured, trying the name out. It caught unpleasantly on his tongue and in his throat, and he didn’t really like it, but it was his friend’s name now…it’s what he had to call him, whether he liked it or not. It was a matter of respect. He preferred Al’dr to call him by his nickname, that didn’t mean he expected the other boy to prefer the same.

But all thoughts of names were erased when Al’dr crouched to scratch Jax, and the new weryling wasn’t really looking at him, so Kai didn’t know what to think. He swallowed, prepared for the worse…when he actually spoke, and Kai’s eyes widened. “You do?” The boy parroted, barely noticing the blue as the hatchling came to Al’dr’s side. His heart was pounding hard in his chest and his blood was rushing through his ears. He heard the rest of Al’dr’s words, but he was preoccupied with how extraordinarily unfair this whole situation was. His eyes jerked to Fortath, and the doubt was caught in his throat. Nothing could happen now…not when he had a baby dragon, and Kai wanted to scream with how unfair it all was.

It’s not the hatchling’s fault. I’m not blaming him! Yes you are. K’ius was still trying to process the information while Al’dr kept talking. He’d been lying before…when something maybe could have happened…and now, it can’t…at all. Relief and disappointment all at once held him at bay, and he didn’t know what to think. So he didn’t speak, not for a long time, just watched his best friend.

Finally, he spoke, his voice softer. “Of course I was there. I’ll always be there for you.” It wasn’t even a question, and he couldn’t believe Al’dr would have thought anything else…did he think so little of him? Did he think he’d just abandon him so easily? He pushed the hurt out of his eyes, and motioned towards the couch. “Sit down.” Was all he said before he disappeared into the bathroom and started running water.

[Raining]

Al'dr's gaze was soft, even with K'ius' surprised outburst of 'you do?' Of course he cared, and Al'dr was wondering how he could have been so blind to it before. Like how his face brightens everytime he was around Kai, the way his heart picked up when they were together... just everything. Almost every single moment of his life... he could connect to the way he feels now. He didn't want to see it, or he valued their friendship more than he wanted something more.

If anything, he thought Kai was straight.
Not that it mattered right now... even with everything so painfully clear -- he was too late.

Al'dr may have missed the way Kai looked at Fortath, but the hatchling certainly didn't miss it. The blue sat ridged and he almost sought out Shobhaith, but this was Sho's rider he shouldn't. Fortath pulled his own feet closer to his body, and wrapped his tail around himself tighter. His needed him right now, and K'ius seemed to be important. Sadness leaked through the bond, he didn't know what to do. He tried for a deflected light hearted whistle Sho's way, Are they always like this? He asked keeping his mindvoice light hearted enough.

Kai's voice was soft, and Al'dr almost audibly sighed though the pang of guilt was still ever present. "I... just thought... it felt so final." and whose fault was that... he asked himself bitterly. S'not your fault Love, you did what you felt you had to... the hatchling piped in feeling his rider's guilt. The right thing to do... feels so wrong...

K'ius motioned towards the couch with a simple command and Al'dr was more than happy to oblige... he was dead on his feet. The weyrling sat and motioned for Fortath to come sit and rest his head. The blue looked towards Sho, and followed and seated at his rider's feet, front feet on his lap, and head following to rest on his paws.

"I know... what I'm saying doesn't make it all okay. I just thought you should know." he said raising his voice a little so Kai can hear over the running water, "I was...afraid of losing what we had. But it looks like I messed that up all on my own." an ironic smile Kai wouldn't see unless he was already on his way out. Blue eyes tenderly watched as Fortath slipped back into a light sleep. He was probably breaking the rules by coming here... but this couldn't wait. He hoped Fortath forgave him...

Hell he hoped Kai really forgave him.

[Zephyr]

If Sho could have glared, he would have glared at his rider just then. He might not have been conscious of blaming Fortath for his problems, but he was, and the hatchling knew. Shobhaith didn’t miss the slight shifts in the hatchling’s body language as he looked at K’ius. It isn’t just the riders of dragons that have to watch their emotions around hatchlings…it’s those close to the riders too. He told Kai before turning to Fortath and snorting lightly. No. This is new. And it isn’t fun, believe me. K’ius has been moping around like someone kicked his puppy… He glanced over to Jax, who hadn’t even heard the comment.

When Al’dr sat down, Jax took a running start, using Fortath as a stepping stool up onto the couch so he could bound in the boy’s lap. He was immediately up in Al’dr’s face, sniffing wildly, his butt wiggling in his excitement. He didn’t see the cat. Where was the cat? Jax whined when Vin was nowhere to be seen and settled down on the couch next to Al’dr, whining lightly. He missed the cat.

“It doesn’t matter.” Kai said as he walked back into the room with a small basin of warm water and a wet skin. “What I want…what we want…” And that was a strange thing for him to say, which he’d been so sure that Al’dr had hated him. “We can’t have. It just…isn’t an option.” His voice was soft, and he tried to keep the words from choking him as he sat down on the couch next to his best friend, letting his eyes fall to the water settled in his lap. It might have been an option before…if they were quiet and careful, but now it isn’t. Fortath is just too sensitive, and even the most subtle shifts in emotion affect him.

He didn’t quite want to look at his friend. “Sorry, San…Al’dr. I didn’t mean to make you feel like this. I should have just kept my mouth shut. What we had before…it wasn’t bad. I just…” Wanted more? What a selfish ass he’d been. Closing his eyes, he took a breath before opening them and finally turning to look at Al’dr. Dipping the rag in the warm water, he started to clean the dried blood off of his face, trying to not touch the other boy as much as possibly while he washed the area around his nose. “This is my fault.” It was said as almost an afterthought, his voice having not risen in pitch the entire time.

[Raining]

Fortath didn't really take comfort in Shobhaith's words, but he was determined to keep his spirits up as much as he could. Al'dr's emotions weren't so confusing anymore, so it was easier to deal with. Being snug with His was helping too, His seemed comforted with his presence so everything seemed to be okay now... But Shobhaiths...? The dragonet had canted his head from his spot on Al'dr's lap, Al'drLove feels like he... kicked someone's puppy. Fortath mused, testing out this metaphor.

Speaking of Kai's puppy Fortath made some noise of surprise when something small and white sprung off his back and onto the couch. He'd touch the dog's mind amused with how simple the creature was, but simple wasn't all bad. He's looking for something... fluffy like he is.. Al'dr laughed shifting the dog so paws weren't putting pressure on his stomach. "Hah sorry Jax, Vin's not here. I'll bring him over next time." He's looking for my cat, which is surprising considering Vin torments him. I will meet him later? Yup, Good, the hatchling yawned before wuffling his nose into the dogs fur and then laying his head back down.

Al'dr sat up straighter as K'ius wandered back in the room with a basin of water. His eyes took on a wary expression, before he responded. "Well... it does matter," he replied softly as Kai settled down next to him. It felt like its been forever since they were this close, as much as Al'dr wanted to grin and act like nothing happened... now that everything was in the open, he didn't want to push anything. He didn't want to break him, and with Kai sitting here avoiding his gaze... he looked so fragile.

"Hey." he said finally, surprisingly not wincing as Kai began to clean off the blood. Before he could stop himself a couple of fingers under Kai's chin tipped the boy's face so he was looking at him. "None of this is your fault, he spoke softly his eyes searching Kai's brown ones, dropping his hand. "Its my fault... if I had handled it better we wouldn't be here acting like awkward strangers." If anything this was the part that hurt the most, and Kai hasn't smiled the entire time.

A touch of that hurt filled his eyes, "we're okay though, right?" The tightness in his chest returned, if anything he just wanted to close the distance between them and just hold Kai so he doesn't fade away. "I mean, just because all of this is out in the open... doesn't mean you're not my best friend? You can still call me Sandr and nothing has to change?" Well he wants something to change... but he doesn't want the base of who they were to change or fade or anything.

"And there's still hope? I mean... it may seem far off now, but after I graduate...? If its still what you want?" because he couldn't imagine anything else right now. Though the way he was speaking, he was grasping at straws... much like Kai was doing trying to convince him that it was okay to be together.

It was the fact that Kai was acting a little distant that was causing Al'dr to react this way. He raised a hand and placed it on the back of Kai's neck and pulled him closer, or just close enough so Al'dr's forehead was rested on Kai's shoulder. It was an awkward hug, considering the dog and the dragon's head on his lap, and of course the water basin on Kai's lap. "Just don't shut me out... I still need you..." his voice was barely above a whisper.

He may have been over-reacting... but after their fight and everything at the hatching and how everything was going to change -- this was something he didn't want to change.

[Zephyr]

The purple dragon was seeing that this wasn’t really working for the baby. So his mind started working, the pillie still plotting his escape in the corner of the dragon’s arm Come over here and we’ll watch the chicks from my ledge. He glanced over his shoulder. It was starting to get dark, and there were dragons flying back and forth. Dusk was always a good time for dragon watching. If you want, I’ll teach you some ways to pick up girls. Not that Shobhaith had ever actually picked up a girl before, seeing how he wasn’t actually sexually mature yet, but it’s the thought that counts.

K’ius had to stop himself in a hurry when Al’dr’s hand went under his chin, so that he didn’t accidentally jaw the boy’s injured nose with his hand. Instead, he had nothing to concentrate on but Al’dr’s eyes. Kai set his jaw, eyes defiant and stubborn for the briefest of minutes. “We’re not acting like strangers!” I see you don’t protest the awkward part…interesting. That went blatantly ignored. He knew the truth of the other boy’s words and sighed lightly, dropping his hand to his lap.

He wanted things to change, he really did. He wanted to be Sandr’s best friend and so much more, but they couldn’t…at least for fifteen months, and that was over a turn and he couldn’t imagine anyone caring that long. But, before he could mention it, Sandr did, and Kai looked back up at him. The notion of waiting wasn’t one that had ever crossed his mind. Why would Sandr want him to wait for him? Kai wasn’t that nice of a prize…but it’s not like he’s ever had eyes for anyone else the entire time they’d been friends…that wasn’t changing now.

The boy gave a snort and pulled Sandr’s head back around so he could finish the job. “Like I’d be interested in anyone else. It’s just…really hard now that I know your feelings on the matter. You might not…understand, but it is.” That wasn’t enough reason for Kai to avoid anymore contact, because he had to admit that he’d miss this. So much.

Eyes widened in surprise when he was pulled closer, and for a second, stop was on the tip of his tongue…but it never went further than that. Kai sighed lightly, breath ghosting across the other boy’s neck as his head settled on K’ius’ shoulder. Finally, he moved, the awkwardness snapping like a taught rubber band. And Kai carded long fingers through Sandr’s hair. “I need you too. I’m sorry I was being such a dimglow. I just…” He paused and sighed helplessly. “I don’t know, just…we can find a way to make this work. Listen though. There will be flights and Sho will start chasing before you graduate and I need to know what you want me to do. I can try, but I’m not sure even my influence is enough to stop him from chasing sometimes."

[Raining]

Fortath hesitated, his spot next to Al'dr was comfy albeit a little crowded now. Though the idea of sitting on the ledge of a weyr so high up looking at all the lady dragons... did appeal to him. The blue removed himself from Al'dr's side Going to check out the weyr ledge with Shobhiath, What. Don't fall... please, I just found you. Impossible.. The blue held his head up high to show that he was confident, though in actuality he was a little hesitant to chill with Sho. Fortath whistled curiously at the pillie before settling near the purple at the ledge. You have a nice spot.

Al'dr of course ignored any protest of it being harder when their feelings were in the open. It made getting closer easier, and now they didn't have to hide anything from each other. Plus Al'dr was being pretty selfish by needing some sort of comfort from Kai.

His friend's fingers carding through his hair, earned a soft sigh and helped relax his taut muscles, his shoulders visibly relaxing. Though soon K'ius was talking about Flight and Shobhaith chasing. Al'dr wanted to avoid this topic of conversation, especially now since he was caught off guard and he didn't know his own thought on the matter. "That's still... a few seasons away isn't it?" he asked in a hopeful manner... hopeful meaning he wanted to avoid this topic altogether.

He lifted his head and pulled back to look at K'ius proper, from the look in Kai's eye and the tone of his friends voice... this was something he's been worrying about. "I don't know what you want me to tell you?" he said at a loss for words. In all honesty he wished he could make the whole thing just go away, but Flight... is something that did happen. This is what complicates things now that their feelings were out in the open.

"Do... what you have to do. You don't have to not... y'know, for me or anything. I'm not going to hold it against you, if it happens... it happens." he replied looking thoroughly uncomfortable... and the word liar was written all over his face.

Love, you should see this. I can't wait until we're this high. Do you have one of these too..? Fortath spoke up taking in everything, and as well indicating to the black pillie Sho had. The picture of it was so very clearly sent to him it caught him off guard. Zo and Gid could send images, but Zo's were very hasty and blurry. Al'dr tensed up, but made no movement to acknowledge it was there. "I... don't like it..." he muttered out finally, gaze jerking over Kai's shoulder. "But if its not in your control... there isn't anything you can do..."

[Zephyr]

Keeping the hatchling’s mind off of their riders’ fluxing emotions was easier than he thought it’d be. Shobhaith rose up onto his haunches, tucking Jaeger in between his hind legs so that the pillie didn’t get the bright idea to go torture Sandr…because even the pillie knew about the boy’s issue with bugs. I’ll put you in my mouth if you keep wriggling like that. He grumbled to the pillie alone before turning his attention to the hatchling, who’s made his way over his side to peer outside. They’re all pretty nice places to look out over the weyr. I would imagine it'd be harder to take off from the lower ones, however. The golds live over there. He pointed his snout in the direction of the giant weyrleader quarters. Not that Fortath would have much of a chance with any of them, even joined…Sho was fairly certain that he didn’t have any chance with any of the golds.

It didn’t hurt to give the lad hope.

Tuonetath lives over there.He pointed in the direction of the orange’s weyr. She’s a sandmate of mine. The prettiest orange you’ll ever see. Aypoth lives above us, my sister and she has a very nice voice.

Kai was grateful for Shobhaith keeping Fortath busy while he and Sandr were talking. He knew nothing was going to happen…could happen, not while the blue was so impressionable, but his emotions were all over the place, and he could only imagine how Sandr was feeling. “Yeah, it’s not for a while. I think you might be close to graduating then.” He said, pulling the water away to put on the table when Sandr pulls away.

He could tell Sandr was trying to avoid the subject, and while he didn’t like broaching such uncomfortable topics, but if this was going to work, he had to know Sandr’s thoughts on the topic. “I don’t want to do that to you.” He was glad for once that Sho was paying more attention to Fortath than their conversation. “It can’t be that bad. If he chases someone, I’ll just stay in here. I’m sure that if he’s chosen the…other person will be able to find someone else.” The thought stopped up his throat. Flightlust was something that a holdborn boy with no experience with a weyr had trouble stomaching. “It’ll be fine.” And he seemed like he was trying to convince himself more than he was Sandr. “I won’t…do that to you. You don’t have to…you know, make the same promise when your blue starts chasing.” He said without quite looking at his best fright, hands falling to settle in his lap.

Then he sat back on the couch, pulling away quickly, eager to change the subject before the other boy answered him. Kai was pretty sure he wouldn't like the answer. "You can use my bath, if you want...before you leave. I'm sure you don't want to walk down to the communal bath like that. I have clothes that might fit you too. Whatever...whatever you want." And he meant that for more than just the clothes. He just wasn't able to fully express himself. Not yet.

[Raining]

Fortath could feel that every influx of his own... worries effected Al'dr. Their emotions were so tightly wound, it was difficult to sort out. But Shobhaith speaking to him, forcing him to focus on things far away helped. He listened to the older dragon with forced interest. He of course appreciated knowing where the queens lived. I unfortunately didn't get any queens as my sandmate. Though my sisters are lovely nonetheless Well minus a couple of... the more aggressive ones. Not that they weren't lovely... they just needed to work on their manners (rewritetheirpersonalities). At the mention of Aypoth a teasing note tinged his mindvoice, and do you sing as beautifully as your sister? he asked his tail flicking once, a deflection of any discomfort he felt.

Though when he mentioned a certain black bug to his rider, hoping for the same excitement all he got in return was a tinge of fear. The small blue's attention which was previously watching (with slight envy) as a dragon flew past, turned to the pillie. Al'dr isn't very pleased to see this... pillie? he questioned Shobhaith. He would ask his rider, but Al'dr didn't seem very keen on talking about it.

That and he was a tad busy.

Al'dr watched as K'ius spoke, and he really didn't know what to say on the matter since he was holdborn as well. Being a dragonrider was a lot more complicated in real life than it was in his dreams. It seemed there was a con for ever pro, well, some of them. Nothing the candidate masters said could have prepared him for the absolute giddiness he felt after impressing (broken nose and all). Nor the amount of affection that spilled over the bond.

But flightlust...
Sure he knows about 'lust' generally, but nothing about this.

When Al'dr's brows furrowed he prepared a response just as Kai completely changed the subject -- offering Al'dr a chance to not look like a complete mess. But the new blue rider, offended that K'ius would not expect the same sort of deal if Al'dr was in his shoes. "Whoa, whoa... seriously? You honestly think I wouldn't be willing to make the same promise?" he asked. "If you are willing to go through whatever it is Riders have to go through... you can expect me to make the same promise." though promising something you don't quite understand... is probably not all that smart.

K'ius still wasn't looking at him properly, well Al'dr wasn't feeling so confident about this ... new shaky thing they have -- he was at least trying to get things feeling back to normal. So a smirk crawled to his lips, "so about that bath. Do I really smell all that bad?" okay so he was playing the same conversation switch game... but he just wanted to see Kai react like he would normally.

"I can't imagine why I would."

If you smelled any worse you'd clear the entire weyr

Quiet you.

He was feeling a bit strained, emotionally and physically drained. Though the further he looked into it, the strained feeling wasn't him at all. "I will take your offer on the clothes though... I ... should probably get Fortath settled." Love, i'm fine... You're lying....

[Zephyr]

The purple’s eyes widened and he turned his head to look at the hatchling. He stared for a second, then started laughing, shaking his head. Unfortunately, I’m not so great. You don’t want to hear me sing. Poetry on the other hand… He looked away from Fortath, and then returned his gaze after a moment, his gaze holding the proper amount of gravitas for the situation. Ladies love poetry. He gave a sage nod, conveniently forgetting the fact that he hadn’t actually tested this hypothesis.

Details.

When the attention turned to him, Jaeger waved his antenna at the hatchling, crying out Kwakakaka kwaaaa. He really wanted rescued from Shobhaith, but the purple wasn’t interested in letting the pillie go. That’s because your rider is afraid of bugs. It’s really funny. You should have seen him when he impressed. Oh. He gave Fortath a curious look. You haven’t met her yet, have you? She’s sweeter than this one. He’s a brat. Jaeger chirped indignantly and bit the purple’s foot, but Sho just snorted lightly.

Kai, on the other hand, wasn’t feeling quite so lighthearted. He stared at Sandr after a while, unable to keep the helpless blush from coloring his face. “I don’t…” And he looks away, because the words were hard. And he realized he didn’t know what he wanted to say. Finally, he let out a hug of breath and looked back, his gaze solid. “You don’t have to promise. I trust you.” And he has for a long time, even before he’d realized what these feelings were, he’d always trusted Sandr.

This wasn’t going to change anything.

He tried not to feel bad when Sandr turned down his offer of getting cleaned, but he hid it behind a nonchalant shrug. “Don’t come running to me when you stink yourself out of your own room.” He gave Sandr a smirk, hoping to not let his unease show as he went to stand up and put things back where they belonged. “Okay then.” Not looking at Sandr was one of the hardest things he’s done. “Thanks for coming to see me. I guess I’ll see you…sometime later.”

[Raining]

He had thought he'd broken through, even with his declaration of mutual feelings and telling Kai he sharding needed him. Kai had responded by giving a little, but only when Al'dr physically touched him. It seemed with every word his friend uttered, he was only trying to push him away further. He didn't know how he could make a switch like that... but with Al'dr trying only to be pushed away some more... he wasn't appreciating it at all.

The smirk was one of the key indicators, where was the scoff.... the stupid childish eye roll, the smack for staying deadglow things? The downside to trying to hide things from your best friend is you can't. No matter how oblivious Al'dr can be, when it comes to his best friend pushing him away.... just no.

Kai had gotten up and muttered something that made Al'dr feel like an acquaintance, someone he had just met. This was the exact reason Al'dr didn't want to take this step, why they weren't sharding ready for this.

Al'dr got up and grabbed Kai's arm spinning the other boy to face him, his eyes flaring. "Stop, just sharding stop!" he snapped, his temper suddenly flaring as he grabbed the front of Kai's shirt in a fist pushing him against the nearest wall, not at all being gentle. "This is the exact reason I didn't want to do this! Stop pushing me away like some dimglow you meant a couple of hours ago. I'm your best friend, that little obnoxious miscreant you met twelve turns ago. The one who's been by your side ever since!"

"I'm sorry I hurt you I really am. I don't know how many times i'm going to have repeat this to you. But I am not someone you can shut out just because you're scared. You tell me you trust me, but I'm not seeing that right now Kai!"

Fortath when from laughing at Shobhaith, to suddenly super tense as his rider was yelling at Shobhaith's. The hatchling, though effected, tried thinking soothing things towards Al'dr as he took a few steps towards the boys. Al'drLove, its okay... let go before you hurt him... Al'dr jerked his gaze towards Fortath, and roughly let go of Kai's shirt exhaling sharply. Though his next words came out slightly calmer, though his eyes were still strictly focused on Kai. "I don't know what else you want me to do, but I want this to work. Though it seems this is all up to you. You can shut me out and we can never talk again, or you can suck it up and try to make this work with me."

[Zephyr]

Rider and dragon both tensed up when Sandr grabbed Kai. Shobhaith lowered his head, green eyes tinged with a wary yellow as the other boy shoved K’ius into the wall. He was fairly sure nothing would happen, but he was rigid, the surprise leaking through the bond they shard. Kai was shocked speechless when Al’dr grabbed him and spun him around, even more so when he was roughly shoved up against the wall. Brown eyes got a defiant gleam to them and he tightened his fists into balls, teeth gritting as he prepared himself for the onslaught.

Because he was fairly certain Sandr was going to throw a punch at his face.

It didn’t come, even though the other boy was plenty angry enough at Kai’s attitude. “I…” He started, falling silent as Sandr continued on. He didn’t know what to say to him. He had been being a sharding moron, he’d known it the entire time. He just figured it would hurt less if he put distance between them than when Sandr invariably decided Kai wasn’t worth his time anymore, but Sandr wasn’t having any of it.

He was silent the entire time, body rigid, like he was about to flee at any second. When he finally let him go, K’ius stood there, still pressed against the wall for a while after the other boy had finished, not tearing his eyes away from Kai. “I don’t…I don’t…” Then all at once, it was like something snapped in Kai, and he fell forward against Sandr’s chest. Without heeding the new weyrling’s dirty, blood robe, Kai buried his face into Sandr’s chest, hand fisting helplessly at the material. “I don’t want to never talk to you again…I lov…I couldn’t handle that. I need you, Sandr.” The other boy was the best thing that’d ever happened to K’ius, besides Shobhaith, and he couldn’t let go of that ever.

He was shaking against Sandr’s chest for a little longer before pulling away, fingers still buried in his ribe like he was afraid of letting him go. “I just thought it might be easier this way…if I pulled away first. You won’t…won’t want to be with me after you graduate.” His voice went quiet, and he seemed a little unsteady on his feet, never letting go of the tight grip he had in the robe, like it was a lifeline or something. “Eighteen months is a long time.”

Sho relaxed on his ledge when the dam broke, not liking how things were progressing himself, but like a wound, some things just needed to air out. They're okay. Sho cooed to Fortath, brushing his tail along the blue's side soothingly. It'll be fine. Promise.

[Raining]

Al'dr almost thought Kai wouldn't say anything, and why would he? He's practically just done everything short of actually hitting him, and if it wasn't for Fortath he probably would have ended up doing so. Actually not probably, he just would have hit him. But the sudden calm feelings through the bond cleared his head enough to just let go, and the underlying panic took a few notches from Al'dr's rising temper.

He was sure the only reason Kai was still backed up against that wall, was because his gaze practically pinned him there, daring him to tell him to leave... or say nothing at all -- or the least likely choice, fight back. If he didn't up saying anything, then this whole thing was a mistake. He could feel Fortath's strain, and tumbling emotions which only added to his own discomfort and stress. Al'dr wouldn't know what he would have done, left? That would mean it would have really been over, just everything.

Right when he was ready to just walk away, Kai stuttered something out and he suddenly lurched forward, clutching at Al'dr's robes, head on his chest. There was a split second where he was just stunned... but his expression calmed considerably and he encircled Kai in his arms. On hand was carding through Kai's hair, and his other arm around his friend's back holding him close. He almost sighed in relief, because as much as it hurt to see him like his.... this was at least something, and not the stranger he'd been talking to.

His stomach twisted in knots for a brief second, as he thought he heard Kai say he loved him? He brushed it off as a stammer. If anything Al'dr should still be mad, because he admitted to Kai that he needed him just minutes before... but he couldn't find it in him. Not right now. "I'm sorry, Kai." he apologized as his friend trembled slightly in his arms.

When he finally pulled back Al'dr's hands moved to Kai's cheeks, his thumbs brushing small circles. "Hey," he began his voice soft, "don't tell me how i'm going to feel," he said a light teasing in his voice as a soft smile graced his lips. "I'm telling you to trust me because if you're willing to wait for me... i'll be there for you." Hands would move down to Kai's coaxing the other boy to release their death grip.

"Look... I have to go, I've... probably strained things enough with Fortath." he glanced over Kai's shoulder. His dragon was there, with a brave face on, " but I want you to come see me... us.. tomorrow. We can introduce you properly and you can tell me how much i'm going to flunk being a weyrling. We'll talk more, whatever you want." He made sure Kai was looking at him proper before he continued, "please? i'm trusting you to come see me."

On the verge of panic before, he wasn't sure but he did his best to sit there. Though this time when Shobhiath spoke to him, he visably relaxed... just as Al'dr had. His rider's words spurred the young blue towards them, not before he turned his head and whistled his thanks to Sho. Pleasure meeting you, Shobhaith. Maybe later you can teach me some of these poems. Because anything to pick up the ladies, right?

[Zephyr]

It was embarrassing, breaking down in Sandr’s arms. Sure, the guy was his best friend and he’d seen him at his worst, but that and admitting to him how much he needed him was something different entirely. He was almost afraid, as he clung to Sandr, that the other boy would reject him; push him away for his weakness. That wasn’t something Kai was sure he’d recover from.

The other boy didn’t push him away. He apologized. The words brought out a peal of helpless laughter from K’ius’ chest. “I have no idea what’re you’re apologizing for. You didn’t do anything.” But he didn’t stop him…didn’t do anything but cling to his shirt, and though he hadn’t been wanting to look at him when he’d admitted his own insecurities, Al’dr pulled his face around, and Kai had little choice but to look up into those eyes.

He leaned into the touch of Sandr’s hands. He was still shaking from his breakdown, but the words seemed like a promise to him, something tangible, and while it wasn’t enough to assuage his worries completely, it was something, and he felt a little better. Enough to twist his head around to lay a single kiss against Sandr’s wrist. Soft enough to be considered chaste, but a promise of his own. “Yeah, yeah. Of course I’ll wait.” Because there was no one else he could fathom being with.

Then he pulled away completely, his gaze going stricken for a second. He knew that Sandr would have to leave; he couldn’t stay, no matter how much Kai wanted him to. Letting him go was hard, but K’ius stepped away, his face set into a calm expression. “Okay.” He said, much more calmly than he felt, the rapidfire pounding of his heart drowning out everything else. His gaze shifted to the blue, and he couldn’t find it in him to touch him, not yet. Wanna tell me now that you aren’t blaming him? I know I am, and I feel awful about it.

His eyes were wide when he looked back at Sandr. The other boy was putting the ball in his court now, and Kai was feeling helpless. If he’s going to have to face Fortath again, he’s going to have to be better. Maybe a night away will help him come to terms with the fact. K’ius looked at Al’dr straight in the eyes, before he let a smirk cross his features. “You’re going to have to keep me away.” He was still pressed up against the wall when he remembered the offer of clothes. He slipped away from Sandr to go rummage through his clothes, pulling out a shirt. “Here, it’s too big for me and you can get that stinking robe off.”

Then he stepped back, looking up at the other weyrling with almost hopeful eyes. “Well…bye Al’dr. See you later.” Shobhaith hummed at the hatchling, still holding Jaeger down. See ya, Fortath. Sure thing. It’s be nice to have a dragon to take under his wing, especially since he wasn’t the most experienced dragon ever.