Downtrodden Soul {Derek}

[Admin]

I’ll give you something you can cry about,
One thing, you should try it out,
Hold a mirror shoulder high,
When you’re older, look you in the eye.

A tiny form wove her way amongst the cotholds and outer buildings of the hold with her head ducked. She seemed to know exactly where she was going, because her steps never faltered and she never looked up. Her messy hair, a light brown, fell about her face, hiding it from view. In each of her hands, a basket piled high with greens and tubers was gripped. Her long fingers held onto the handles with firmness and strength. She hurried along, shuffling as quickly as she could with silent steps. Out of habit, she didn't hunch her shoulders, though it would have completed the effect. They were too often occupied by things. Her body looked too skinny, but it also looked too short. The few others that she past at that morning hour towered over her in stature and they paid no mind to her. A simple drudge didn't gather any interest from busy holdfolk.

They paid more attention to what lofted over her head. Seven firelizards ferried smaller baskets. The largest was one of the largest firelizards most would ever see. A fair-sized gold, Eulo carried her very own basket, at her insistence. Near her, a bulky, dark bronze, Ruy, and a white, Olya, carried another basket. Behind them, a grumpy blue, Jary, and a pink, Esti, held another. To the side of those two, two greens had the final basket. One of them, Ife, looked bold and happy to help, though her color was soft. The other, Zola, was deeper in color, more of a spring green, but she seemed timid at being out in the open. Normally, she preferred to curl around her bonded's neck. All of the seven only looked to one person, the drudge, their Sonia. She was well aware of their presence. She always was. She headed down an alleyway.

"Hey, firelizard girl!" She turned. Her eyes raised from the ground for the briefest of moments. Three boys were weaving their way towards her. Leavon. Jakikan. Cunorir. They weren't the smartest. They were terrible at thinking of actual insult. Idiots. Fools. Wherrybrains. Sons of Bitrans. The names for them that dug in the back of her mind were silenced far before her lips. In truth, the phrases didn't even fight to be spoken. She remained silent and watched them come even as she ducked her head again, peering out through her hair. The urge to flee, to escape them by running, was much stronger than the urge to swear. However, she didn't run either. She stood like a waiting target. In her mind, she could feel all of her firelizards tense. She tried to soothe them. Zola, Ife, and Esti relaxed. Eulo tensed more, letting out a hiss.

"How are all your little pets doing?" They surrounded her, all of them wearing sneers and stupid smiles. She made no reply. It wasn't a question. She could tell by the tone. She rarely spoke except to answer direct questions. Leavon and Cunorir snickered. Jakikan was their little leader. Snorting, he gave her a push. She stepped back, but kept her balance. Then Cunorir, behind her, gave her another push. She kept her balance again, shifting her weight, but she dropped one of the baskets. She ducked her head lower, reaching to try to save it. Then someone punched her. She wasn't sure who. If she was going to bet on it, she'd have picked Jakikan. It was always him. That wasn't the first time they'd done that. In her mind, she cursed herself. No one was going to stumble across them to break up the fight. The alley was the wrong path to take.

Someone kicked her shin. She was punched again. She gritted her teeth, keeping standing even as pain blossomed in her mind. The basket that she had managed to hold onto at first skittered across the ground. She doubled over, protecting her stomach with her hands. Punches fell on her ears and kicks hit her legs. She dug her toes into the soles of her soft, worn boots to keep her balance. She could have fought back. She could have punched. She could have kicked them in the groin. But she didn't. She took it like it was nothing, keeping her face, already bruised from where one of their punches had hit her, down and hidden under her ratty hair. They were the sons of crafters and holders, men who she knew from gossip to be bigger bastards than they were. She had no place to stand, so she took it. She took their blows and jibs without a word.

Her fair abandoned their baskets, sending them clattering onto the alley below them. Zola, saddened and terrified, darted higher into the sky, with Esti and Ife following her. The others tried to attack, but were stopped after only one beat of their wings. NO! The sharp order resounded in their minds. It hardly looked like it could have come from the bent girl on the ground below them, but they knew that it did and they stopped. Eulo shrieked in irritation, Ruy by her side, struggling against the command but unable to defeat it. She turned away from the scene, looking skyward. One thing caught her attention as it appeared from nowhere. A dragon was in the air. Tipping her head back, she let loose a cry, reaching out for her much larger cousin with images of the scene before her flashing in her mind. Help! Now! She ordered him with a regal desperation.

I tried but you tried harder,
I lied but you lied smarter,
You made me guess who was it,
I did my best but it wasn’t enough.

[derek]

And it's been awhile
Since I could hold my head up high
And it's been awhile since I first saw you
And it's been awhile since I could stand on my own two feet again
And it's been awhile since I could call you

He was mad. F'del was being just as cold and immovable as always, and J'kan just needed to... get out. He was confused, depressed, and angry, and the idea of leaving alleviated at least some of his present emotions. Everywhere he looked in the Weyr, he was reminded of F'del somehow. He needed an escape.

O'sho and Farja gave him the perfect opportunity, as they were encouraging Searches at the moment.

Standing in his personal weyr, the Brown rider gently tugged at the locks of his hair, trying in vain to untangle them. Giving up, he pulled on his riding gear, sliding easily into the heavy cloth. He wondered briefly if he had lost weight, and decided that he would ask F'del later before realizing that they were in a fight, as usual.

Fuming, he gulped down a mug full of cold klah before stepping up onto Hath's neck. The Brown had been rather compliant later, hating to see His upset. Crooning gently, Hath nudged J'kan with his wedge shaped head before dropping from the ledge, his rider on his back. As a dragon of few words, he stayed silent as he dropped, snapping his large wings open at the last second to keep from crashing into the ground. J'kan, usually fond of such aerial maneuvers, said nothing.

Hath, grumbling at his rider's broody depression, let an updraft carry him above the Star Stone. He hovered for a moment as J'kan studied the land below him, searching for a familiar figure. When he sighed next, envisioning the air above Western Hold, Hath winked between.

The cold of between did much to sober J'kan. As Hath appeared above the Hold, the Brown rider felt the tightness in his body unravel a tiny bit. It was good for him to get out on occasion. Mine,

[/i] Hath commented. You think too much. Next second, however, the tone of the great Brown's voice change, blasting into J'kan's mind even as the fire lizard's mind reached out to the dragon. Trouble below, Mine![/i]

J'kan looked down, and was startled to see a group of boys tormenting a girl. She didn't look as if she were any older than maybe fifteen or sixteen, but she was small and underfed. The boys, he assumed, took advantage of that.

Hath let out a roar that seemed to shake the entire Hold before angling himself into a dive. Landing heavily, which was far from his normal grace, the Brown crouched low the ground to allow J'kan to vault off of his shining neck. J'kan hit the ground running. As he reached the girl, yelling, Hath calmly commented in his mind: Mine, she would make a good rider. She already has Impressed many of those fallible flitters. It would be a sin to leave this one here to be taken advantage of each day. The flitters will be a nuisance, but it would perhaps be worth it. Turning his head, he snapped playfully at a fire lizard that passed too close.

J'kan, ignoring Hath's attempt to eat the flitter, turned on the boys. "What, by the First Egg, are you doing?" He demanded, anger snapping in his usually calm blue eyes. "I'm ashamed! Brawling, out of Holder's and Crafter's sons? Not one of you is worthy of Search! Now get, before I lose my temper!" The boys scattered as Hath added a roar to the final statement.

J'kan, however, was already kneeling by the girl, gently touching her bruised face. "They got you good, didn't they?" He asked quietly. Looking up at the fire lizards, he whistled. "Hath was right," he commented to himself. "Seven flits! Shells!" Shaking his head, he turned back to the girl. "What's your name, child?" He asked, blue eyes kind in his rugged face.

And it's been awhile
Since I could hold my head up high
And it's ben awhile since I said I'm sorry

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[Admin]

I am the comfortable secure,
The definition of this western world,
And I have perfected deceit,
Even I believe I'm above saving.

The roar of a dragon briefly distracted Sonia, but she paid it little mind. The attacks from the boys might have slackened slightly due to the roar, but they didn't halt and curiosity wasn't an emotion with which she kept company. It was when she barely heard the fall of new footsteps that she thought she might be saved. Her mind didn't bother to hope. She focused on taking the next blow. Hope had long been erased from her, left only in her firm adoration for her fair.

It was her firelizards who all quickly became interested in the arrival of the dragon. Esti, Ife, and Zola remained where they were, hovering awkwardly over their beaten bonded. Ruy also remained, a frustrated sentinel, as did Jary, who was more furious than usual. It was Olya and Eulo who actually headed for the brown. It was Olya who got snapped at for getting too close. He crowed with delight at it, while Eulo hissed her disapproval. Nasty brown! His rider might be helpful, but he wasn't! He could go away! Not the least bit bothered by her or the brown's snap, the white proceeded to turn trying to land on the dragon's head into a game. Their bonded would be fine now that she had help, like she always was.

Someone was yelling. Her tormentors disappeared, fleeing without a second glance. Slowly, she sucked a deep breath back into her body. Then someone was kneeling beside her. He touched her face. She flinched, and it wasn't because of the black eye and cheekbone bruise that were forming. Attune to the reaction, Eulo and Ruy darted forward, moving to protect their bonded. The others remained where they were, or doing what they were doing, in the case of Olya. They weren't protectors like the metallic pair, and even those two got stopped. "Eulo, Ruy;" she murmured. They halted at the order carried by their names.

Hath. A dragon. He said something to himself about her fair. She ignored all of that and hurriedly straightened, pulling away from him as he asked her name. She dropped into a curtsy. Her legs screamed at her, but she ignored the pain. With her head ducked, none of it could be see on her face. "Sonia, sir;" she said, voice soft. "Thank you, sir;" she added, referencing his assistance in her situation. She kept her head down, knowing it better to keep her bruises hidden. She didn't need his sympathy. She turned her head, surveying the ground. Tubers and greens littered the alley. She was going to be in trouble. She sighed, but it was hidden by the rustling of wings. Zola curled around her neck, hidden by her hair. Eulo and Ruy came to crown her shoulders. Esti and If clung to her arms. Olya was last, leaving Hath to settle on her head like a hat. Only Jary didn't perch on her. He growled off to the side, ever the grump. Their presence soothed her. She glanced at J'kan, hair briefly parting to reveal a hazel eye and bruising.

I am the broken,
I am the bruised,
I am the poor ones,
I have been used.

[derek]

Oh come with me forever my love,
under the darkening sky.
Come hide with me,
I'll save you my love.
Hear me, I'll beg for your life.

Her hair is damp,
Her skin has turned cold,
There's hardly a sound that she makes.
Oh stay my love,
Please open your eyes,
And promise me you'll never leave.

[/i]

J'kan raised his arm in self-defense as the fire lizards darted at him, but the motion was unnecessary as the girl called the flitters off. He mentally noted their names: Eulo, the gold, and Ruy, the bronze. Or... that's what he thought anyway. He could have been wrong, there were so many. The girl had flinched at his touch, which caused their ire, he supposed. Shaking his head, he leaned back on his heels as the girl called the fire lizards to order and Hath let out a bugle of his own anger at the flitters.

"Hath," he said wearily. "Leave off. They're only trying to protect her." The Brown snorted, causing a wave of warm air to flow over J'kan and the girl, who was now giving her name: Sonia.

J'kan noted with apprehension that she kept referring to him as "sir." Blue eyes kind, he peered down at the girl. "I'm no 'sir,' Sonia. Just J'kan." Standing, he watched as she dipped into a curtsy. Well, at least she had manners, which was more than he could say for some of the current Candidates. Some of them were downright rude... but then again, at least they didn't torment defenseless girls who were worth their weight in gold. If this girl could Impress seven fire lizards, just think of what she could do with a dragon! That, and she was strong-- he could see it under all of the bruises. She wouldn't give in easily. She wouldn't be afraid.

Hurry up and take her, then, before I eat one of these cursed flitters, Hath commented, eying the little white one that was such a nuisance. Then again, the gold one looked like it could use a good bite, too...! J'kan rolled his eyes at the big Brown and slapped him affectionately on the side of the neck.

"Sonia," J'kan started, straightening so that he was standing straight, brushing dirt from his knees. "You don't have to stay here. You could come with me back to the Weyr. To Dalibor. Hath thinks, and I agree, that you would make a good Candidate for the next hatching."

Hey angel there over her head,
Tell me the time hasn't come.
Have mercy please on the one that I love,
Her body's to weary to run.

And suddenly a thunderous sound,
Like wings have taken flight.
Straight up straight out,
From under the ground,
She's gone in the darkening sky.

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[Admin]

What's clean a mess,
Run away, girl,
Run away now,
Run away, girl.

Sonia filed his name away. He was a sir, even if he didn't know it. Everyone was a sir or a ma'am. However, she accepted his preference, his idea, without protest. Ruy turned his head and stared at her solemnly. Despite his regal, commanding air, he was one of the quietest of the bunch, second only to Zola in that respect. She stared back at him, silent as the entirety of her fair was silent in that moment too. Then J'kan spoke. She turned to him, eyes diverted down except for one glance that she spared him to show that she was paying proper attention to him.

Olya wasn't at all unsettled by her motion, because he launched himself into the air as soon as J'kan spoke his last word. All of them did. Eulo, Ruy, Ife, and Esti joined Jary and Olya in the air with raucous cries. Only Zola remained, still hidden by the hair of their bonded as was usual. Away! Away from here! Theirs would make a good candidate! She most definitely would! They had known! They had always known that she was better than this! Olya crowed. Eulo roared. Ruy bugled. Jary hissed. Esti crooned. Ife trilled. Zola, tucked right next to Sonia, thrummed.

"Quiet;" the girl said, head still ducked. The order wasn't loud. They didn't have to be loud. They just had to be firm. Immediately, her fair fell silent. Fourteen swirling eyes turned to her. In exchange for noise, pictures and emotions blossomed in her mind. No more pain! No more evil boys! They all wanted to go to the Weyr. Shush! The mental order was much snappier and louder. They all fell entirely silent, their thoughts slowing in surprise. Sonia knew that it might be better. Might be. There was still going to be boys there though, and the idea of Impressing remained far from her mind. That wasn't what lured her towards the Weyr. It was the idea that a Weyr would simply be a better place to live. A candidate would be a step up socially from where she was. Weyrs had firelizards. In truth, considering it all, most anywhere would be better than where she was.

Slowly, she raised her head. Her hair fell back. It revealed the tiny head and tail of Zola, and her own face. Hazel eyes, so much sharper than the rest of her skinny, submissive body, regarded him in quick flickers. The skin around one was turning an array of colors, as was the skin along her other cheekbone. Beyond that, all of her features were a little sunken, from lack of sleep and lack of food and stress and probably a million other things. "If you and Hath think so, I am happy to go;" she said, voice dull and soft compared to her eyes and the way the bruises didn't seem to bother her. Joyously, her fair picked back up their cacophony. Crowing away, Olya darted over to try to land on Hath's head again.

What if you thought you saw a ghost,
A hundred times a day,
What if the thing you wanted most,
Was impossible to say.