Watch the tears fall [Basile]

[fidelli]

---Partly taken from the Hatching, a continuation--

Don't worry. I won't leave you. We are both here for you. N'rylMine was actually quite willing to come today simply because you are here. I must commend you for that. Usually it takes hours of nettling to get him to go anywhere! The girl did need that - she needed the rambling, the words that mayperhaps meant nothing... But they did. No words were meaningless to Tonii, and she took to heart that N'yrl had shown up at the Hatching for... Her. Maybe she wasn't such a bad person after all. If N'ryl, one of the nicest people she had ever known, was willing to spend even a little time with her, and his amazing Blue didn't mind her... Maybe, just maybe, she wasn't awful.

Don't hide from her, Miss Toniiandra. She might take it as disrespect, and you do not want that. Eeek! She really didn't want that - the girl froze, eyes down and not daring to look up. She would deserve the little Red's fury, of course, even though she hadn't done anything. She had never been mauled at the Hatchings - after was a different story, but that had been done by a mother, not a dragonette. Suddenly a picture slipped into his mind, a picture of Gryth inbetween her and the small Red. She felt better immediately - Gryth was watching out for her, and his words, along with the clapping for the newest Sub-Queen rider made her feel even better. Do not fear. If you do not disrespect her she will not harm you. There, see? She has chosen. You are safe now.

And she was, safe with a Blue to watch out for her. She waited then, patiently, trying hard not to be nervous. The girl who had been hurt caused a small commotion, and she watched as the Grayrider was pushed - he was a solid man, and only went down on a knee, but he could see the fury and confusion in his face as the bleeding girl rose and streaked from the caverns, followed by a patient Black. How could she tell the dragonet such a thing? How could she not love her little bondmate unconditionally? She turned back to the waiting Hatchlings, worried - but not for her. How awful to the dragonet to refuse his Impression - then why was she standing?

Silent now, she watched as the Green's, the Cyan, and the Blue hatched, and then the little dragonets from the Orange's clutch as well. There were not many of them left now, until suddenly, it was Hatoter, another girl, and herself standing on the Sands. The Orange shoved past the boy, who fixed the hat on his head with a rueful shrug and turned off the sands, to the two girls.

The Orange was standing infront of her, and the girl's eyebrow's rose, smashing together, face set. But - suddenly the Orange shoved past her, pushing her down on the sand in a hurry to get to the girl next to her. She feel hard in the hot sand, and lay there for a second, testing everything. She... She was alright. She pushed herself back up, but as Tonii unsteadily brushed herself off, she realized with a stomachfull of longing and hurt that the Hatching was indeed over. And she had been left standing.

Again.

This would be the eleventh hatching she had stood for - and the eleventh hatching she had failed at. Cheeks red with shame, she shook out of Gryth's voice and slunk off the sands, head down. She had disappointed the pair that had searched her, and she hated to disappoint. She had let them down, even though she had tried to warn them that she was not one to Impress the wonderful dragonets. She was just Tonii, and she always would be just Tonii. She would go back to Benden, back to a mother who hated her, back to a Weyr that did not realize she existed, back to a Rider who abused her - she didn't belong there, but she didn't belong here either. N'yrl and Gryth would be so mad, and after Hatchings... Tonii hugged her hands around her waist, slipping out of the robe as she exited the sands and hugging that too her as well. The memories rushed at her, even though she tried to fight them - the scars on her back burned. She had disappointed a stern woman AGAIN - two sub queens had passed her by, and twenty dragonets besides.

She found herself crying then, crying suddenly, and running for the lake, running for water. She didn't know why she was going - she just couldn't face another Hatching Feast, with all of the happy Weyrling's around. There would be two Candidates then, she realized dully. All had Impressed except for the boy that had dragged her to lessons and herself. As she found the lake and collapsed by it, knees dragged up to her chin and eyes downcast, silent hot tears still running from them, she found herself covered in Firelizards.They came, silent for once, to curl on her and around her - Streak, draped across her arms, Soft flying around her head, Sleek on her shoulder, crooning, Shine pressed against her hip, Silk, slipping under her arms to curl and creel in her lap. They offered her peace when no others would, when she would let no one near, and under the guard of her small flock, she let herself cry.

For lost dreams, for lost hope, for sadness in disappointing and letting so many down - and for sadness for herself. She would never have the unconditional love that she saw so many with, watched so many walk by with, longed for as so many semi-friends left her on the Sands, waiting... Forever waiting.